Creativity in progress blog by Kate Aksonova.

creativity-in-progress-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova



    Reorganization.
    Unite.
    Fresh air. (2.06.2017 - 2)
    Self-taught artist.
    Unusual.
    Hide-and-seek.(4.06.2017- 2)
    Whole truth.
    Dracula forever.(5.06.2017- 2)
    Move on.
    Language quota.
    "Natural hesitation".
    Multilingual vs monolingual.
    Naming characters.(9.06.2017-2)
    Days to remember.
    Recognition.(10.06.2017-2)
    Love to images.
    Habit: changes.
    The more, the better.(12.06.2017-2)
    Be real.
    Work with sand.
    Shortage of letters.
    Free writing.
    Climate change.(16.06.2017-2)
    Contrasts.
    End of First Act.(17.06.2017-2)
    PDF complete.
    Handle seduction.
    Importance of William.
    Alas, my poor Dracula. (20.06.2017-2)
    Language as DNA.
    Spirit animal.
    All about money. (23.06.2017-2)
    Comfort and changes.
    Priorities checklist.
    Character and writer.
    Selfie.(26.06.2017-2)
    Amazing power of outline.
    Constitution’s day.
    Art during thunderstorm.
    After the dream.


      Tomorrow I will need to delete archive for previous months. I don't know if I manage it early in the morning. All depends from internet's speed.

      After wind changed from huge, which breaks branches and became lovely breeze in the end of the heat day internet started to work properly. Maybe it was just anxiety of connection.

      22.47
      30.06.2017

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      After the dream.

      30.06.2017

      Of course in morning wasn’t internet. Problems began yesterday’s evening, this time was everything connected with huge wind. In such heat cold wind is amazing, but it spoils internet. Idea with sail for which wind is perfect doesn’t work with our technique. I tried to make a photo of wind, but it’s impossible to catch a wind.

      I couldn’t work, instead I chose to walk after the dream. At night I have a dream that in art shop I bought template which will help in drawing human figures. I visited shops, just for make sure that it’s not possible. One of the shop announce that they had lot of templates. They hadn’t human figure and I asked about motorbike template, because I remember my yesterday’s result. “Such stuff we never had, but we have other lovely templates, which you could like”.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Yes, it’s template which I found in that shop. Shop assistant was amazed, she never thought they have such stuff. In three exemplars, if someone else is still interested in buying it.

      I wasn’t in art shops after we have not regulated prices. Art became really expensive hobby. I need to think what and how to draw. Endless experiments are ended, only pictures for projects. So, I buy paper and white pencils to draw diamonds in jewellery and cheapest sketchbook with craft paper.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      I don’t think for me will be good without art, but I need to think before create just for fun. There is only one solution – invent more interesting writing projects to which I should draw what I want. It’s my way of thinking.

      About that. Everyone knows that smoozy with blueberry are good for your figure. I believe best solution to loose weight it’s terrible cook. Not my story.

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      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Vareniky with blueberries, amazing taste and even don’t dare to count calories. Some day I will find solution how to eat what I want and have results only from exercises. We should cherish our dreams, some day they could became real.

      In newspapers now popular such kind of articles, like “Few years ago in that day we wrote about”. I liked this idea and today back in the past - 2015 year - post about moon day.

      "31st of June, moon day.

      Moon day like in John Boynton Priestley “The 31st of June”. Also was awesome soviet film “31 June” (1978), amazing songs. I read text and saw our film, film is more romantic and had more fantasy mood.

      Moon day, day in which impossible became possible."

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      17.35

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      Art during thunderstorm.

      29.06.2017

      Today in Lviv were huge thunderstorms with heavy rains. For now two people are dead because of lighting. Of course, internet didn’t work. Now internet is present, but I can’t name it speed.

      So, nothing worked and I chose to spend time on art. At first I made two sketches of jewellery. After it was attempt to draw something real.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      I understand that it’s not hyper realism, for sure. (I think about which play to write next in free time.) I put this sketch to show why I used acrylic paint with abstract art as target.

      Better in such thunderstorm sit quietly near person with whom you feel yourself comfortable. I instead, tried to make picture of rain.

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      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      To make proper photo of rain is difficult and photo camera could be wet very quickly as result.

      My almost dry artwork... (By the way with acrylic are less problems with drying, and easy to keep clean palette knife.) I named it “Lava or temperature of temptation.”

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Red as passion, which melted under itself black and calm cover of emotions. Lava because all that was inside volcano for a long time, even years, was hot as temptation.

      There are different feeling – warm feelings of respect, desire which never bring calmness, long term love with which you live without hope that this union could be possible but with a tiny chance it could turn into heat which destroys all your thoughts.

      Lava like tension where words “I love you” are not enough or not correct for explanation. It’s something when you woke up in the night and wait when bed will be a little colder, because it’s impossible to sleep in it. (I haven’t conditioning system, so my metaphors are from my level of living.)

      Of course, I also drew picture inspired of today’s weather. But for now won’t post it. For it should be less clouds on sky. Hope tomorrow internet will also work.

      18.30

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      Weekly post about play writing today is about life in invented world.

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      Constitution’s day.

      28.06.2017

      Day of Ukrainian Constitution. There were lot of attempt to change and improve it, but holiday remain the same.

      Constitution it’s good reason to talk about politic. Huge word, powerful. Not compared with results of our country in the world. I don’t say that no one heard about us, but in my pen-friends time I frequently explain that is near EU, but not inside it.

      Now parts of our country on maps are inside other country. It’s big problem in not effective politic of our country. I can’t name it power. I love my country, but can’t change how I think will be good. As little example – in my humble opinion – if you love Ukraine your children and grandchildren should receive education in Ukraine. I don’t talk about multinational marriages, where it’s important choice for kid – language of country from where is one of parents, there are different rules. I don’t say save bank system, economy – it’s Constitution’s day, not sci-fi contest.

      We have a problem and couldn’t solve it. People left their homes, daily deaths. You could rename it how you want – but it’s a problem and if politic couldn’t solve this problem... It’s like when your car is broken, you could repair it yourself. You could ask your favourite baker, but when it didn’t help, you will look for person who could repair cars. Our country needs leader who could stop the blood or maybe already elected people could find in themselves such abilities.

      I don’t know how we could celebrate this day, when what was written in Constitution is not alive in our country. Our country don’t happy with other countries which should protect our boundaries with their honest words. We could name this betrayal. We could say that we didn’t make name in politic. We are weak, all to Hell, be honest – we are weak. Our reputation and word not cost enough.

      Everyone are guilty, year after year, day after day, we were busy find yourself. We were selfish, we didn’t know how to be with freedom. Were lot of mistakes and not they are shadowing all good results.

      Our language is Ukrainian, but something went wrong and power of Russian became stronger. I am bilingual, I can’t chose. If it was Polish, German, Arabic or Mongolian. But no... I hope that some day it will end. I don’t sure if I will return to both of my native languages, but for me it will be comfortable. There is politic, it’s clear, but there is blood. Most ridiculous that I never live in Russia more than few weeks, when visited relatives. Country of my pure childhood is Belarus, before and after this was only Lviv. It’s not my personal wish, I had to think about this in today’s situation.

      I believe that you should take from different cultures it helps to be reach, not steal from yourself. There are laws and at least we should hope for them. There is law for foreigners about Crimea. Who visit it, can’t visit Ukraine. For Ukrainian citizens are different rules – families, relatives. It’s complicated, but it’s some way of fight for our reputation. It didn’t stop a lot of foreigners, but it’s law.

      Now are a lot of different new laws written. You know, it’s like suddenly country remembers that should behave like adult. We try really hard, but sometimes it’s attempts of kindergarten's kid to behave properly in high school. Some days it works, some days not.

      It’s like with people – someone is confident and others listen, even when don’t want.
      Someone asks for advices and couldn’t formulate thoughts it didn’t work in adults world.
      Thanks to English I forget about all this struggles. English is like some kind of Dream. I thought it was temporary. English is like universal key to communication.

      In the end of post are colours of Ukrainian’s flag. Blue and yellow. In Ukrainian we say yellow-blue (жовто-блакитний) because it sounds better. For that I adore Ukrainian, some words created just for beautiful sound. I read this principle was also used in Italian. We also could said dark blue - yellow (синьо-жовтий). Dark blue and blue had different words for describing.

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      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      P.S.: Once again read post. It sounds not like glass is half empty. It sounds like glass is broken. Now are warm days, so I remembered a joke. Hope it will help with mood after my writing. “On the bank of the river sits frog and shakes paws in the water. Near her runs hedgehog– How is water, green? Frog answers not turns her head – I sit here like woman, not like thermometer.” I wish really hot day to everyone.

      6.55

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      Amazing power of outline.

      27.06.2017

      Understand power of outline is possible only when after ten pages of second act you used all notes which are left after first act. It’s dream in preparing work. It’s time when dream became written text. Outlines are really inportant even if all went with different length direction.

      I repeat myself, but outline helps to focus when your mind wondering around next scenes, how you will add moving of the story and all other possibilities. Outline helps when you have lawn mover as soundtrack.

      Previous planning is also have all names of characters and I didn’t need to wonder who should tell what to whom. It left some place for creativity, no matter how boring it sounds. Even with outline I add new scenes, but try to stay with same quantity of characters. It’s really not easy.

      Writing it’s not like drawing, you couldn’t remake one colour to another. In writing should be used plan to moving from one scene to other. With art maybe not everything clear like I wanted, it could be noticed on my pictures. Maybe, because most of the time I think how properly change colour of hair results are on yesterday’s selfie, not how to mix colours on palette. In writing I know exactly what I do. It’s profession, not hobby.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      7.05

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      Selfie.(26.06.2017-2)


      For a long time I refused to do it, but I understand it didn't change nothing. My selfie.

      I tried, tried really hard to get rid of absolute black colour. I tried mahagony - no results. Today it's not my attempt - it's I lose in game to receive titian red colour. When there are a little sun on hair it add some light shadow. It didn't worked for me.

      Composition of selfie just to emphasize my mood in battle for dream hair color.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      19.00

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      Character and writer.

      26.06.2017

      There are two different opinion what writer should write. First it’s when writer should write what s/he knows the best. Here are under suspect all mystery writers. Maybe they are killers or just mad. But when I started to enjoy reading and after writing mysteries, I read that this genre is some kind of fitness for brain. You solve puzzle simultaneously with detective in story.

      In romances at the same time, women – most of the readers, should feel the same as main heroine. In this case they also should like main hero and wait from chapter to chapter what he will invent. I think to read all the time romance stories is boring. I tried to read them, most usual item which was among books in second-hand shops. And reading so much love stories it’s window shopping in candy shop when you are on diet. It’s not how to books, girls. It’s fantasies of writer and sometimes other person’s imagination could be complicated.

      Because of rule to writing what you know, there are a lot of novel about writers. Also scripts about young or finding yourself talented person who writes own first script. This I could write. I wrote script in Ukrainian, it could count. About writers struggles I know a lot. Main challenge how to write it not such boring as it sounds.

      Second opinion about what to write – is to write character smarter than you, better than you in everything. Here is not what you already know, but who or where you wanted to be. It’s rule also used a lot. Students with loan write about daily life of wealthy people with lot of details. If you think it will be unpopular – read yellow newspapers. I think such writers are blood and flesh of it. They became boring and repetitive with using adjectives, but it’s easy to learn their whole vocabulary.

      Definitely I write what is not better than me, but has nothing in common. My characters fluently speak English. They didn’t pause with fingers above keyboard trying to remember what is this word and how to spell it. I wrote about writers and even teachers of English. Also I wrote about cat and parrot, but it’s not proper example here.

      Writer is in every character, but sometimes we need to move further of our boundaries to write reasons of some actions. You can’t measure character for your behaviour. It’s more professional when your character it’s not you. It’s more interesting, it’s like acting. I don’t count how many characters I wrote one hundred, two hudred if check all notes with ideas.

      I know, writer should have mission, something like that. But when you will stop to be so serious writer’s life is absolutely different.

      In journalism you should go in different places talk with different persons for three minutes and after it write readable article. You look in your notes and ask yourself – how I will write that answer without changing.

      In fiction writing you have only your imagination. Your characters will answer smart and with wit. Sometimes one proper line is enough to have good mood for a day. It’s like with person. If you know that this one sentence was for you, it costs hundred of pages of weak prose. And in real life you also want to be heard, it’s called conversation.

      In fiction you are on charge in building your invented stories. And everything what could you imagine, could be real – feelings, hopes. There is only one disadvantage – you can’t meet your imagined characters. Such a pity I have some questions for all of them. Yes, with real person you at least could hope to have a conversations, find out what will work what will not and because of this rules of fiction worlds are different. Because when in real life you have a wish for conversation, and other activities, for more than ten years it’s depressing, in fiction it’s good motive for character inner arc.

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      8.50

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      Priorities checklist.

      25.06.2017

      Yesterday I tried to made sketch for play, I didn’t manage draw what I have in mind, instead of it I received few interesting pictures which could be add in the end of posts. I should try to do it differently.

      When I draw it’s best opportunity to listen to podcast. Watching films or most of lectures difficult, I start to pay attention to image on screen. In podcast there are only voices. Not every person should made podcasts, some voices are good for better sleep. It’s not perfect for some kind of activity, where you should be awake.

      I listened about how to better manage time for writing. My main problem now. With all early repair I manage daily only 750 words. No more, no less, like with spell on me.

      Problem that in English I am like old car of my neighbours. I need time to warm up and later drive in English language text. If only I could switch on after turning key…

      So in this podcast was about not have plans for year, and made targets for few weeks, days or even for one day. Were times when I could wrote whole play in one day, but now I need longer texts. She suggested to check your priorities even daily and if something din’t work, remove it.

      To check daily what is important is interesting. But usually all depends on urgent projects which you should or must do. Focusing all energy at one target and later move to other also can’t be done with everything. With languages it didn’t work. I tried system one day – one language and next day move to other. When you return after few days to language you see that you hadn’t result.

      Only daily spended time could make progress. For me is in priority writing post, because instead of fiction it doesn’t depend from reading or research time. It’s like write letters to person who you love, if you can’t talk daily. (My nagging wish to write a story with all this: “My dear, if you only knew how I missed you. I dreamed about you last night. You hug me and was such warm and cosy in your arms...” Main problem how to write such kind of letters more then three sentences long.)

      I would like if my priority was also drawing, but it needs place and time to dry. Writing in comparison needs only your imagination.

      I agree with author that each progress if constant could make change. Like with exercise, even one exercise daily could help to start a routine.

      My aim is to make shorter list of my priorities, that I could spend more time on each of it. Now most of time eat research how smoothly begin daily writing process, how to solve problem of creating English environment. I tried to listen books, it’s distracting during writing, the same as with songs.

      I really need to light up some English smell candle, but what it should be. Use other language before writing destroys possible working speed. Some times in me there are more of awareness of problem then solving it properly. Time to time I promice to be silent about what bothers me, but it’s difficult to be quiet when I feel and think what I feel and think.

      Few next pictures will be my plumage experiments.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      9.40

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      Comfort and changes.

      24.06.2017

      Once again read yesterday’s second post. I still agree with everything, but it was awakening of journalistic urge to change a world. Words will matter, ideas could change a world, all this usual stuff. It helps to clear mind.

      I understand that to be an artist is not my main target, but I won’t refuse drawing. I need it for work and for myself.

      We all love comfort in cosy chair or on the beach and listen to the waves. But life is different. Yesterday I had plans to write, instead was heavy wind with rains and thunderstorm. Broken trees and branches are everywhere. As surprise internet is still working.

      In comfort zone you can’t make recognizable changes in your work. Here like with drawing, you should try different techniques to move somewhere.

      Without drawing I could possible change one writing project to another. Painting give this diversity and I could return to main project. Still can’t understand how writers write three different project simultaneously. In my case it will be some damage from one text to another.

      Today’s picture my attempt to draw graphic black with watercolour pencil.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      8.10

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      All about money. (23.06.2017-2)


      I should today work on next scene of the play, maybe later. But since few days normal worked e-mail box, before that I had problems with connection. I wanted to clean it, because too much of everything.

      And what I can say – it’s all about money. Nothing else. I receive advertisement and articles connected only with art and writing, but I think it’s could be the same about other part of creative industry.

      All about money. Money which you should pay to improve yourself or money which you want to earn. No matter how many – unsubscribe letters, you will receive ten instead of one.

      Money it’s theme which don’t discuss polite people. Money in culture it’s not existing story. Painters and writers eat dew and find energy in sun, in rainy day they eat, don’t forget it. Artist should be starving to be creative. And this we don’t talk about it yearly ends in less money on culture. This little bit which left will be spread unusual and not always will end in art projects.

      With every possibility to save the money, first victim is culture. Better close this water flow completely. Country, government should give money to health care, protection and education and money for people who couldn’t make money themselves and feed starving. Not much, not little. All government made such politic. But with big words they close this problems.

      No one cares about changes of climate, weather or something for future generation. In Lviv we have streets full of trash. It’s smell, it’s illness and possible ecological collapse. No one could make normal decision what to do. It’s summer time, with lots of rain. Why we name ourself most European town in Ukraine?

      In Orange Revolution was idea that everyone responsible for themselves, in next revolution when was problems with telephone connection all was solved using other numbers – worked police and ambulance with fire fighters. Now some stupidity close everything. Solving problems where to put garbage is unsolvable for all. Someone say it’s revenge to Lviv, but I think government should care about everyone. Here is also all about money. I wanted to write about culture.

      No one want to gave money to culture, because it’s waste of money. Face of country are cultural exhibitions. I visited lot of them – if you say so, it’s your face. I visited personal exhibitions and read visitors thoughts – waste of paint.

      People love art, interesting in it. What is the big problem? Culture, art are entertainment and people want to decide for which kind of it they will spend money.

      Maybe you name me absolutely wrong – but person who collects comics dolls don’t interested in days of Ukraine in Germany. As usual every person has own priority and with all wishes we can’t change it.

      We could make only one thing – give a choice. Which kind of choice? Invest in what you want to see, hear. All that films which made by money of fans. Perhaps they are not the best, but they exist. Write good law for Maecenas and they will make new Renaissance in culture. They have taste, they have money.

      You know, when they send advices for painters what to propose to art galleries, they write – bring people who will buy your work with yourself. Why I need gallery, if I already have people who will buy my paintings? The same is about writers. Make your promotion and we will make contract. The same way you could put hat on the street and read your poems, what will change.

      I had one friend who as a student worked to sociology firm. I learned this science also. We agreed in one conclusion – when you ask person about his/her opinion paid or not there are rare chance that you will receive honest answer. The same with work with client – it’s bad when you will disappoint with your results. Possible bankruptcy in the end, but who cares.

      Prices to tickets in theatre and movies are other gifts for pirates. Each person should choose what to watch, everything it’s too expensive. The same with the books, silver is cheaper than books now. Most of this books don’t cost paper on which they were printed. Everyone now have some devises, stop publish all this and let’s go digital. It will be much better for environment. And delete books don’t need reusing.

      Tickets are expensive, but if person choose to which show gave money to produce all culture could be different. Of course, some actors will be payable, others with writers and directors will need to find other job. If add to this possibility to see it at home for some price it will be never ending profit. Again with lot of possibilities we could choose. Actor could choose, writers could choose, directors could choose. It won’t be art made in same mold. If person likes film where for three hours people talks about art, let it be. Everything what you think will be important.

      The same with painters. If you could explain your art – do it, not believe that someone else job is do it. Lot will end in trash, but why not give yourself a chance.

      Lot of free lessons in painting were made on money of people who could afford it for people who couldn’t do it. It’s good habit, better will be also to pay some people to stop they creative career.

      We all believe in muse, but all is about money. Not have chance to meet, introduce with your possible spectators is great border for many artists. People could not make opinion about what they don’t know. I don’t mean there reviews on films, so much of them show that critic saw only trailer, because in films were answers to questions.

      Yes, it’s wild economy, it’s cruel business. Why playing on stock markets is good and have Maecenat’s support is bad? Artist should make art and someone else should help him/her to do it. Thinking about money for artist is painful and could bring to conclusion that today’s art world is absolutely wrong, because of this spectators walked away from this process.

      Power of internet gave freedom to do what you want at least in creating your art and show it’s to world. You show your Universe, because without this works you will not exist as complete person.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      14.20

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      Spirit animal.

      23.06.2017

      I read somewhere that people usually choose their pets like portrait of themselves. It should make sense when see some owners with their dog.

      When little old woman is with big dog you understand, she should be really strong inside if such dog didn’t run from her.

      The same is with huge strong man with tiny fluffy dogs, they are the same sweet and harmless.

      Women more often choose big dogs as protectors or dog which could be interesting in creative hair cut. I think there could be other motives, but they not such recognizable from first sight.

      Pet sometimes could be as spirit animal. But here like written on shop “Alive items could not be returned”. You should be responsible and don’t change your mind. Human shouldn’t use power to end this relationships, it’s not equal situation.

      Spirit animal also could be toy or jewellery item. I couldn’t choose cat as my spirit animal. I need animal much stronger.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Do you hear my roar? Lion. There aren’t other options. I was born in town of Leo, in my mother’s birthday. It could be only Leo. It helps when you want to feel strong or remind yourself that you have such power inside you.

      8.15

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      In blog about play writing today's post is about exaggeration.
      22.06.2017

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      Language as DNA.

      21.06.2017

      As multilingual writer and especially reader I could say a lot about reading texts in language at which it was written.

      Once I had idea to read Chekhov on English.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      It was in classic in many of our bookshops. I don’t explain glance of shop assistant about my choice of book. I know, it was unhealthy. But I read it. Biggest problem during reading text on English like subtitles I have in mind original text, it’s difficult.

      Reading Chekhov on English it’s I don’t know. For person who read it in original, it’s like choose melted ice cream instead of frozen in heat. Wrong, yes. After this experience I didn’t want to repeat this with other writers.

      More wrong will be read Babel on English. It’s not just Russian language. Odessa, which is in Ukraine, has different perception of Universe. When we had holidays in this beloved town I made notes of sentences, part of dialogues which I heard. In Odessa you could receive taste to language. You know it’s such of play with lines, which you want to mastering.

      Now it’s almost gone. Where are old people of Odessa who went to the beach with stick and then swimming in Black Sea. In water they were healthy. How they speak. It’s impossible to translate, but could be described. No matter how early you will came to the beach old Odessa’s population was already there and “tasted water”. “How is the water?” always asked new arrived. “Everyone loves it differently.” “You will like it.” Answers which you will receive depending of warmth. Morning and evening rituals of greetings and saying goodbye.

      All which is not translatable makes unique language. Now English is dominant. But UK walks away from EU. Problem, big problem for future of languages. We hear only about France and Germany. French is not easiest language, but German – let power of Duden will be with me. I didn’t hear a lot from Italian, much easier language. When will be clear which language will inherit power of English? I am really disappointed that is no chance for Polish.

      Language of Shakespeare, there are even special on-line vocabulary of explanation of his words. I still have urge to learn one more foreign language, after finishing play with quotes from Hamlet. I with pleasure will learn new one, if only EU make some statement about it. If not, I have in mind next target. It’s language which are popular, hope I will find some resources for it. It could be obviously and predictable, but why not to try my language abilities in American English. I even have list of books from which I could start. Hope it won’t be more difficult then Willie’s works.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      I can’t say that I used this photo as reference, but if it’s my photo, I can name it inspiration for painting.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      10.25

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      Alas, my poor Dracula. (20.06.2017-2)


      Did you heard the news BBC will make Dracula TV series? Writers will be Moffat and Gatiss, writer’s of “Sherlock”. Please, please name it Tepes or Vlad, no, no better – Impaler. You know, without lot of intrigue. Like TV show “Lucifer”, find this amazing show just recently, searched “advice TV serial which resembles “Castle”.

      Our Romanian neighbour couldn’t find peace in literature and culture. I tried to add some fun to his enternal beings. Of course Moffat and Gatiss will give him more interesting adventures. I don’t ask to add unknown sister, better if Eurus was sister of Moriarty with revenge to her pure brother and will be written five more seasons, where John Watson marries her. Something like that. I still like my exercise to invent different endings of the stories, I heard it helps writers to always be in shape.

      Alas my poor sidekick Dracula you will have new fans, someone will play on drums, why not. It’s interesting if will be religious and superstitions explanation of legend of Impaler. Without it is too dark, for my taste.

      At Stoker’s novel poor soul wanted to learn English. Like I said, he struggled all his eternal life. Will he punish sinisters? So much questions and will be others after TV serial. Where they will put his house and many others? Is their Dracula will be night owl like proper vampire or he will have racing car. Racing car, please “Dragostea Din Tei” as soundtrack or something else by Dan Balan. Now I am back to TV series, who stole Lucifer’s wings?

      22.00

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      Importance of William.

      20.06.2017

      Importance of William Shakespeare in reader’s preferences and future writing proffession for playwright. Was original headline, but it was too long.

      When I read Shakespeare at school or University I never know that will write plays using his quotes. It’s like with profession – playwright. What is it? Question which I hear frequently - playwright works in theatre, like on position. Where should work poet?

      Greek theatre it’s different relationships with spectators. We use William’s works like daily reference. Importance of William in his place in culture, his level, he is measure for comparison. What will be with his absence? World could be different.

      We use to live on his level of feelings, even if it’s not such necessary. Othello now could be jeallous for “likes” of Desdemona to other male humans. Taming of Katharina it’s still difficult sport activity. Romeo and Juliet are still struggles in love, they are young and beautiful.

      And Hamlet. Prince should be complicated, he is future King. But Hamlet is labyrunt. Labyrunt to which you wish to return, because this time hope that will find proper way out.

      There is feeling that when I use English for plays I am inside house which was created by Willy. His words, his themes. I live in this house and it’s impossible to meet with owner. But all pictures, stairs were made by his imagination. And you understand that you never create such house, but with pleasure will read books from his private library.

      In my plays are Wilhelm, Wilkie, Billie and I will use this name all the time. It’s on the tongue and drops into the texts.

      And because for me Shakespeare is like power of nature I will add my abstact drawing, I named it “Eye of Nature”. I just imagine how should look like eye of Nature, when it looks at us. I think, a little tired.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova


      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      8.15

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      Handle seduction.

      19.06.2017

      (Before post: when in others countries car drive into crowd of people it’s usually terrorist act, in our town it’s crazy stupidity with human death.)

      Like I wrote many times my great seduction are new ideas which came to my mind. Yesterday in internet I found lovely interior in art-deco style. I didn’t search for it, but that room at moment inspired some ideas and I just had to handle seduction.

      What to do? Watch a film, book which you read and just to see the perfect setting and amazing work of actors. “The Great Gatsby” 2013 with all that soundtracks and visuals which blow your mind. In tragic stories best when you know how it all ended, but you will watch it no matter, till the end. Not all darkness is there in the film. If you didn’t like scene with Gatsby and Daisy with all that amount of flowers, check yourself if you are a human.

      You know what wish I had after finishing watch this film? I need to read this book again, this time on English, because text… you know.

      Art deco, I like it, because in Lviv there are a lot of this buildings, even maternity hospital where I was born. It’s just always around you, this epoque and it cames in your writing. My green lamp from “Importance of being unnoticed”, of course is art deco. I can’t imagine other lamps worth haunting for.

      This film helped to handle seduction to write new story and now I could return to priority play.

      And as picture is lighthouse, like what else could I draw.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      6.15

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      PDF complete.

      18.06.2017

      I convert in PDF last not converted play. Finally I made some organize changes.

      I thought it never will end. I uploaded from one to seven plays daily and finally I complete it. Now I have enough space for new texts and pictures.

      Every huge task could be complete if make daily efforts. There are no more reason to write two posts a day, spend every free minute to change text into pdf. I don’t think for me will be easy to stop, so for some time I will write daily. Later I will think how better manage it writing urge. I really love to write, for me easy to express myself in writing with English. Also it’s best practice possible.

      Yesterday I saw “Paris can wait”(2016) by Eleanor Coppola. I liked that in film so much light, sun – best idea for rainy evening. One trouble I had during whole film – how terribly I forgot French. Everything will end in sand if not practice daily. With foreign languages it’s bitter truth.

      When English became my priority I understand that didn’t manage to be a polyglot. I just stayed on daily basis multilingual. Important things are always in our heart and mind, we always spend time thinking of them.

      With less writing maybe I should spend more time in reading texts of others, not only creating new ideas. Most popular theme for writers it’s how to generate new ideas. This urge remind me of articles – what to draw. You at first need to have an idea and then think how to make it real, add it flesh.

      I all the time search for comfort state in which I could generate some amount of text or sketches without running from one project to another. I know it’s search for some zen to stabilize my mind which is always in a rush. I don’t specially try to generate ideas, they come to my mind without warning, I put them on paper and return to today’s priority. Maybe it’s the reason why I don’t like writing prompts. I always have what to write about if I add ideas of others I will write without a pause. It’s not healthy there are life priorities not only connected with writing.

      My worst flaw that for me at first place is creating of text, not promoting them. I don’t return all the time to my previous work, you know like in film promotion. I like my texts, still they are dear to me, but all my mind inside next project. And here I didn’t implement advices that for writing we should work like for business. I have no idea how to change my mind and be more goal oriented. Collocation – marketing for writers – scary me enormously. For now I can’t manage to be baker and deliverer of bread at the same time.

      Polar friendship.pdf

      8.15

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      End of First Act.(17.06.2017-2)


      Simply the Best by Tina Turner I could make quieter. I finished First Act. (It was usual song before boxing. With this play I am definitelly inside ring.) After I will finish all story I will have to add more details, I know. But now I finished first draft of First Act.

      Now it’s time to think about something else. For example, about costumes. I can’t draw them now, because have no idea how many characters will have.

      I have urge to add some red dress in every sketches. Red dress it’s what was used perfectly in films. I could name favourite or legendary red dresses. Julia Robert’s in “Pretty Women”, Vivien Leigh’s in “Gone with the Wind.” Not to mention red dress from “Matrix”. If talk about dresses could count as red amazing beige dress with supposedly “red” scarf of Angelina Jolie in “The Tourist”. Who I am kidding? All dresses in “Tourist” were amazing.

      Dresses, accessoires it what helps to clear mind and research is good reason to spend time looking of different ideas.

      With men characters everything is easy. I don’t put on them red suits most of the time. Just for equality. Men could wear everything on earth and feel comfortable and gorgeus. Women can’t do it. For this we need dress, shoes, parfume and this list everyone will end differently.

      I absolutely disagree when work as writer gave you opportunity to write in pajamas. It’s not working outfit. The same for me is long morning gown with long sleeves, it has nothing common with productive day.

      Shoes I sketch to characters because should be some reason why they all are barefoot.

      Same problem with hair. For me it’s some level of identification. Without them characters will be the same wooden mannequens. Hair change gestures at first place. Men with hair of neck length or chin length when run hand throught a hair it will look softer, slowly, maybe confidently. The same gesture with short hair could be recognized like slight panic or lot of energy. With women it didn’t work, panic and anger, energy we could express with every length of hair. The same is about colour, usually it’s disguise.

      I don’t believe that changing colour of men’s hair is such necessary. I don’t think it could be as some message if not yellow green, maybe.

      Of course, all depend of personality. There are people who looks great in every hairstyle. But here important are eyes, nose, lips – details which are terribly difficult for me to accomplich on such tiny sketches.

      Beards and moustaches are my level of correctness during drawings. My women characters have no voting right. Why? Because I know how it all will end: “ I can’t choose theoretically, I need field experiments and only after deep research I could make final decision. Or couldn’t make in each individual situation”. I don’t need to hear that. They are women, they think like me, it will be dead end in creating sketches.

      And one more I don’t like all this videos of how to draw skin colour for fashion design. I know, maybe I start with amateurs, but sentence “choose which colour of skin will be better to show your clothes” is terribly wrong in existing. How do you think if it’s kind of accesoir for you? And you teach others, it’s shouldn’t be such way. For me best form of equality is wooden mannequin – it’s image of human, it doesn’t matter who is he or she is. Writer writes for mannequines and each actor makes character real by his/her acting not by race.

      With accessoires I don’t know what to do. It’s not film, you can’t show in close every detail. To draw huge or bright is not always choice. The same with bag. Bag for women it’s her little or not universe. In play what is inside bag should be used only to add some details. Big chain of keys could describe that she has lot of doors or paranoic. Make up which is in bag it’s confession – from lipstic till false eyelashes or articifac nails. (By the way never understand this sience. All that glue everywhere, especially when it’s not ideal glued – it scaries me on basic level.)

      When I write, I write a lot and because I promised to make a pause before second act, I need somewhere to write, just to slow down. Because of this such length of post.

      Catch snowflakes.pdf

      17.15

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      Contrasts.

      17.06.2017

      I like interesting connections, even contrasts. Today is rainy day, so I will show sunny landscape. It’s more exiting, than choose everything predictable.

      I read that Andrew Scott received amazing reviews for performing Hamlet, hope it will be also on screens. Also it’s definitelly time for Hamilton to be on screens, on-line there are only little parts. It’s best musical for now, where is video?

      Contrasts are in writing novel and play. Novel begin with – describe your character. Even novel which is written in first-person narrative. Usually we had “He looked in a mirror. To shave or not to shave, what is the question.” Or “She tossed her hair in pony tail. Will change of hair colour change her personality?” Describing is part of novel in which I absolutely lost myself. I tried to survive with pictures, but level of drawing is not satisfying.

      When I write a play, I create model of clothes. Size or length of sleeve could be different depending from actor or director. Be crazy of ideal actor for role it’s unhealthy. You should create character which will stay alive no matter who will play him/her. Story should be driven by character, not person.

      During writing and thinking what could motivate director, I understand one interesting thing. I know why I have permanent urge to be a director. When write story, it takes your time and energy. And you have text. Only text. That’s it? Is this end? I want more! It’s like love story which you create in your mind. You need real person to complete this experience or it’s other way to create fiction.

      Each story teach something – to learn craft or yourself. It’s daily attempt to see from other angle, to find contrast, new light. I’ll repeat: I want to be director to spend more time with play which I created. It’s not about that play didn’t survive without me. It’s my feelings of miss something. It’s not constant feeling, because I have other texts and ideas which need my time and attention. With time it changes. Writing is still my long and constant love and relationships in which I spend time daily.

      Early morning repair which choose neighbours always helps in thinking about existencial questions.

      Snowmen united.pdf

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova


      9.20

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      Climate change.(16.06.2017-2)


      In news I read that NASA predicted seasons of rains instead of heat. Agriculture and economic should change. I think weather for our next weeks predicted using same information. If it was my choice, I would choose hotter. But rains promised every day.

      It will be difficult to art which need to dry. I did little research.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      My new media for experiments. I liked oil pastel, it didn’t need time to dry and bright colours.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Today at least I add picture to blog “Creativity in progress”. I think “Mosaic” is best explanation of my creative routine. A little bit of everything.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      I know, maybe it’s stupid logic. But I try to think positive, as woman in craft shop. Maybe, I wrote it already, but I like this story. Were talks about end of the times, Mayan calendar or something. So that woman said that she already packed her favourite instruments for crochet, so she is ready to the End of the Days.

      I think Mayan didn’t predict that after Apocalypses most popular activity will be crochet. It’s one of the reasons why they predictions didn’t work. Not every elements they thought were important. Way in which women think, as example.

      So for not spend time on wet material I used oiled one. With other pictures I will scary you from tomorrow.

      Art just help to clear mind from writing. At different point I need end of first act.

      Few steps till winter.pdf

      17.25

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      Free writing.

      16.06.2017

      There is such a concept as free writing. When you write everything what is on your mind. Does it could be some other way? I understand, plan outline, but it’s your free will, because it’s your imagination.

      To say what you< want suggested like good exercise. People, in your fiction or writing, don’t you tell the truth. Why you pretend that you care about your texts? Fiction world could also have it’s own possible truth inside impossible circumstances.

      My texts are free even freedom writing. I write what I think, what is important to me. I don’t think it’s necessary to pretend. What for? You feel what you feel, no matter what other people think or advise, it can’t be changed. It’s good when misunderstandings could be solved. To tell the truth is much easier, than be inside of difficult intrigue for some aim.

      My work as writer is to add as much complication in life of characters. It’s profession. I can’t write text “Sorry, I think I misunderstanded you. Excuse me too, maybe not always my intentions or motivation of my actions were clear to you. The end”. Story is lovely, but hasn’t nothing common with fiction.

      In free writing you probably should open yourself, show your naked soul. All this is to know yourself better. And if writer could write about himself/herself freely it should help in writing fiction, like change bundaries.

      If you want to write free, you should write letters to person who you like and to whom want to tell everything, explaining every detail, breeze of thought and heavy storms which are inside your mind. It will work if person is ready to listen attentively to you and accept you road of the world. It could be made in person to person conversations also.

      Now I clean my bookmark from all that writing advices, so time to time I will return to such themes.

      Writer is lonely profession, I think it’s biggest fallacy. Writer is never alone. When we write, around us are dozens of invented characters. Some of them in focus, others create enormous noise around. I think this is reason why we need quiet environment, to hear voices, stories.

      Writer not always should be alone, we need people who loves us, cares about our problems in solving plot holes, someone with whom we could just sit quiet without trying to be wittest person alive, someone with whom we feel ourselves protected and don’t should be strongest warrior.

      Such cosy warm thoughts are on my mind, strange, if remember that I plot mystery. Maybe this is freedom - to show who you are.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Mermaids and Monster.pdf

      8.50

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      Shortage of letters.

      15.06.2017

      In playwright’s blog I wrote about importance of planning. Milestones of stories helps a lot. Problem is when I understand how many steps I should made. There came different characters which will be helpful.

      I at beginning write names for characters for 3 acts and now when I add new characters I feel shortage of letters. If every name should have different first letter.

      Maybe, when I will write Sci-Fi I could use numbers as identities. Here I could lot of posibility. But I don’t believe it will sound good. “908097874837899809083724871, I for a long time wanted to tell you… What, 87877904573? If you only have easier name.”

      I can’t gave to my characters name as brand. In this story I think I won’t use previous characters. Reason of my struggle is simple. At beginning, in idea were three characters: Actor, Playwright, Director all from capital letter without names.

      Giving them different names important, because in revising it’s easy to find who said what and when reading one character I find like a tune for each of them. It helps to understand what could be said by him/her or couldn’t. My wish is that they say a lot.

      Inner soliloquy is interesting, but couldn’t be used all time. In play comunication is more open than in real life. In real life we understand when speech is public, in theatre every speech is public, even which no one should hear. Remember that rules all the time changes way of writing drastically. You can’t rush to the end, you need to explain how it all became possible, with such rush that your play could survive.

      Play Shapes.pdf

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      20.25

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      Work with sand.

      14.06.2017

      Work with sand it’s how I feel about play which write now. I can’t name it mission impossible, possible if I already managed to write twelve scenes.

      It’s tender work. I at first wanted to name it as making a clock. In watches there are details which you should put on place. Here it’s mandala from sand. Fragile and patient work.

      Some stories already come in stones, bricks. I know how to do. They are exactly on plan and I should only make it step by step.

      In this story every character change balance of others and add more complicated relationships. When I figure out who is who I think I could add water and start to create sand castle.

      Hope experience which I receive during comleting this story will help me with others projects. Projects, just like with fantasy, where lot of details which opens connecting with new work and research, became overwhelming. If I could find how to work with that, it could make everything different. To change breaking point to point break.

      Most difficult is to focus on such changeable story, when new ideas of plays come to mind, not bothers that I am busy with different project. And dangerous of new ideas is attractiveness of new possibilities for illustrations. Yes, it’s about jewellery.

      Play Fear of fox.pdf

      Play Polite dragon.pdf

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      8.10

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      Be real.

      13.06.2017

      I have a bad habit – I can’t refuse when proposed free book about writing. “Just put your e-mail.”

      With such a lot of work experience it sounds stupid. But I see this books and articles like workout. I can’t reread the same articles for hundred times, it’s not squats. So each book is the same exercises but with different tunes.

      I receive book, read it or not immediately. Later I receive more mail from that servises. Till day when I am tired of their advertisement and unsubscribe.

      They all asks for some money for you. Wrong. They all propose to invest in yourself. Best investment – any price, from few centes to thousands – which was made in your life. They will help you, like best medicine or God’s gift.

      For what you pay in the end? Their explanations I heard. I have mine. You pay for clap on shoulder. “Yes, you could do it. Yes, you can. I believe in you. We all believe in you.”

      There is joke. “Little boy first time went to restaurant with parents. Everything was unusual for him. Waitress received orders from mother and father and than turned to little boy: “What would you like, mister?” Boy was such shocked, that he wispered to his mother: “Mummy, she thinks that I am real.””

      Probably old joke. But all this encouragement for writers good when they are source for new vocabulary or for language practice. Till moment when start to propose prove that you are real.

      We all are real when give opportunity to yourself to think about it. We are real, without someone’s prove. What you feel, what you do is real. No one will woke up you, show path. You see the same things as others. Feelings are real, emotions are real, no matter inside your mind or completely out of mind.

      When you write you write for yourself. All this idea with others opinion are good, but later, not in the moment when you feel real in what you do. It’s your story, your life. You should believe in yourself and don’t wait when this do someone else. Prizes and recognition only multiply your feelings of real and right of what you do.

      I am angry for them, because they waste their knowledge of English for nothing. You are not successful seller, when your video watched 100 people. Yes, it’s ugly truth.

      I haven’t any reason for this, but I feel myself Real English Language Writer and I feel it like always it was in me. Even when I wrote on Russian long texts, I felt them like translation from English. Why? I have no idea – it was just gut feeling that I will write more in that system of coordinate. (With Ukrainian I never had such disconnections. Maybe because of this is such difficult for me to use Ukrainian language ideas or translate them. Language is just part of the story, part of plot. It’s like lyric without music, something is missing.) And here more sad – if you are not brave enough to do it yourself, Fate will find a way how to push you in that direction. You won’t wait for clap on shoulder, you will crawl – because you have no choice.

      Sorry, I exploded a little. Maybe for me is enough to read about craft such kind of articles and I should focus on real literature products. They sence it like hobby, something for pleasure. The same is with relationship you should work on them, not only receive candies. Commitment is difficult, but I am sure no one could call revision a hobby. Even revision of scene which you wrote yesterday, it’s cold shower. Real cold shower to your English grammar knowledge.

      Play Dream big.pdf

      Play What is inside Father’s Christmas bag?.pdf

      8.10

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      The more, the better.(12.06.2017-2)


      In original plays was “The more mice, the better” slogan. It also suitable to any characters. Slogan “Don’t count your characters till end of first act” doesn’t work. After I add three more characters I will better say “Don’t count your characters till curtain.”

      I didn’t finish first act and new characters come like in open door. I can’t say “No” to them. I hope only that my crazy ideas weren’t used somewhere. Who knows maybe there are few such... original minds on the planet.

      I believe that when story changes it’s good – it’s alive.

      At first wasn’t electricity, later wasn’t “Aksioma” on-line. Usual daily struggles.

      Mice adventures.pdf

      16.25

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      Habit: changes.

      12.06.2017

      When I read articles about craft all the time there are a lot about strategic planing. How step by step plan your career. Where you want to be in five, ten years? All stuff which brings me uncomfortable feelings.

      My habit are changes. Of course, I have some ideas which are the stars on the night sky help to find a road. But how I will make it, all the time changes. I am not sure how and when. I just used to live like that. It could be wrong – because plans are important part of moving forward.

      Yesterday was Sunday and I need buttons to redecorate one item of clothes. Most shops with fittings are closed and I needed to check idea till Monday.

      Not far away from home – near 25 minutes by foot – is biggest in Lviv shopping centre with near 2000 shops (like they write on site, I didn’t count). Of course, shop changed location and for now they didn’t finish repair at new place.

      I bought new pack of gloves – art is dirty business – and just walked around. I was impressed of one man’s suit green with orange shirt and handkerchief. Why I didn’t invent such combination? It looked scary unforgettable.

      Was Sunday, so none of repair, but clues of it everywhere – empty spaces, where was ceiling, new stairs and lot of unfinished shops. Habit of changes is just in our blood. I think it’s the reason why I all the time make changes inside my site. It’s just to hear the same tune like everyone around.

      Soon are proms in schools. Girls choose dresses and feel themselves unique. Boys feel themselves uncomfortable in suits, but will survive. My prom dress I also bought on this market. It was open in 1996, so here is my prom dress.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      To be correct it was dress for party. Tender celadon green colour. Girls of our class chose to have two changes of dress. On official part mother sewed me another costume.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Fabric was choose year before prom. Amazing mellow apricot colour. It was amazing colours of laces and chiffon. To end this ensemble were shoes which was perfect in color, they killed every step. Best in them when I took off them. Shoes for other dress were also new, but I could dance in them.

      Costume was with scarf, which was helpful when I was bridesmaid in wedding in church. (Women need to have something on head, which covers hair.)

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova


      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      So, prom was years ago and this shopping mall, since beginning, yearly is rebuild. Now there are even is a church. They try it to make better, add new details, mirrors room. When I bought prom dress shop assistant was dancing around me with mirror (did I mention it was in early cold spring and on market wasn’t a lot of walls).

      And this habit to change everything for better is everywhere. No matter that Lviv has a lot of historic parts, it’s still alive and changes daily. We just live such way. When we found how to improve part of our environment, we change it.

      After turn to pdf all plays I don’t sure that won’t change something on site. If find what could be more comfortable, I will remade it. But my repair is not such noisy, but I am sure the same scary.

      With all that moving and changing we are endlessly patient to people who we love and care about. Maybe external unbalance helps to be eternally attached and consistent. I think crucial here that we remade the same place, which is also consistently.

      And to finish story about changes here is my experiment in acrylic – landscape. Paper A4, painted with palette knife.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Play Cups conversation.pdf

      After New Year resolutions.pdf

      Person without a key.pdf

      6.30

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      Love to images.

      11.06.2017

      Add picture and everything will look different. It’s usual advice. Many of magazines work harder on images, because image will catch attention more then text.

      I love images, I like to draw, but sometimes images are not such necessary in articles. Especially when it’s craft articles. When I read text I should be concentrate on words. Internet did next step and now in articles about writing are gifs. It’s more fun, I admit. But when you read and something is jumping, smiling, it’s became difficult to concentrate.

      Like sometime ago were popular different advertisement banners, mostly they walk away. They are distractions and when writer didn’t see it, I change him or her to other person who at least choose not moving pictures. I could spend time to see this pictures and later return to text. I shouldn’t fight how to stop this.

      I understand that all came from social media, where fans or people with lot of free time dissects films and music clips in what they like. I read something about law which should stop it and copyright should fight for it. I think it doesn’t work properly, because gifs are everywhere. It’s like laugh in sit-coms. In comedy films even without laught people find where to smile. It’s not necessarry.

      Count your letters.pdf

      About new words. There are also picture dictionary or short videos which explain idioms. They help to make learning more entertaining, but here most important – how it helps to remember and will be this structure recognizable not in cartoon’s context.

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      8.10

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      Recognition.(10.06.2017-2)


      Recognition for writer is very important. It helps when you think that make your work is hard. Because of this I celebrate 10th of June (also very important family date for many decades), day when I received first recognition as playwright. In first steps it’s important when your work is prized.

      When I work with art it’s different. Art helps me describe more or just clean head. Even if for work with art you need to change places of furniture in room.

      Love-practical-course-with-home-exercises-play-by-Kate-Aksonova

      Love: practical course with home exercises.pdf

      12.15

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      Days to remember.

      10.06.2017

      When we buy calendar notebook for next year it's always empty. But in reality, lot of days related to some emotional memories.

      Today I have two reasons to eat a cake. I will try unite it in one piece of cake to not destroy my exercises shedule.

      Trip to Paris.pdf

      Torture of hope.pdf

      8.30

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      Naming characters.(9.06.2017-2)


      Naming characters is most time consuming activity for me. I try to name characters unique. Find name which will be not like others. Good when enough just to call name.

      For some time I try to add surnames. Endless power of Google helps me there. Problem that I am consistent in my preference. Today I found out that gave the same surname for characters when start to write play in April and today. Like usual, they are different characters.

      For tomorrow promised heavy rains with thunderstorms, I will fight for connection. We will see who win, time will show.

      Play Jealousy as adviser.pdf

      Play Trap.pdf

      21.35

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      Multilingual vs monolingual.

      9.06.2017

      Play which I once again load is mirror of my multilingual soul. Yes, it’s collapse. What I wished and what I could managed. This “you can do everything what you want” could meet “you could do everything what you could do”.

      Progres in languages are good only at beginner level. Later came what they call – plateu. But it’s not most dangerous and complicated. First problems began when you start read outside your study book. In articles and books they didn’t use words which you already know.

      I am deep interested in learning languages, in history of it also. If read previous centures experiments – they learned languages by fiction literature. It were original works, it was enormously complicated, but it was language which someone already used.

      Now I am ready to hear scream and boo of English teachers or other language, but I will tell it. You invented Esperanto in each language. Artifical language which could use people who learned it. With best intentions you invented abyss, which later is difficult to crawl.

      Make language simplier – use only 300 words and you will be comfortable everywhere. No way. Each new writer which I start in English gave me a lot of troubles with their style, favourite words.

      I write daily, even few times a day and I feel it’s not enough. It’s like after exercises – you haven’t force, but you still far away from results.

      Colapse could be monolingual also. If you try to be serious even in one person you will find complications to solve for years. Language is powerful, it has strenght of many generations. It has rules, lot of rules. To receive results in foreign language, there is only one solution – monogamy. Dedication to one language, even if you want all the time end this relationship, find something easier and receive immediate results.

      I don’t know when come time with comfort in English. I lot of time still spend with studybooks, methods and not enough time with difficult reading. Of course, now I rare have feeling “it’s impossible to do”. But usually it’s “how I will do it, how long it will take to win other level.”

      Progress is best reassurance for language learner. My bad habit is to not enough time spend on celebrating and prizing accomplished results. Each conquered height for me is more comfortable place from where I could see better what else should be done.

      Play Multilingual collapse.pdf

      7.40

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      "Natural hesitation".

      8.06.2017

      “Natural hesitation”, it’s amazing explanation to my state which I found in one of articles. It explains whole behaviour.

      Hesitate when something big enters in our life is absolutelly natural. We just need time to understand what is and how to live with it and try to analyze life which was before it.

      I will explain my understanding based on play which became my target idea for now, such sweet explanation – for not name it obsession. It’s like in knitting. In some coil of thread in the middle happens entanglement. And you have two choices – cut thread here or give it opportunity to show the way how it was tangled. You couldn’t push like you want, it won’t work, you just should be a slave of thread’s compicated way.

      It’s just don’t work when you try to pretend that didn’t notice changes, they all the way became a border. You know it’s like in relationships. When you have new love interest you can’t spend time with all your exeses and think it’s normal. Normal it’s when you want to return to your ex. Or it could be explained other way. If you have person who has priority in politic, you can’t actively support an opponents and think it will solve some way. It’s the same when with artist – you can’t bought paintings of other artists (who you know not pleasant for your artist) and put them in dinning room. Interests or possible harm of person about who you care should be at first place, if you don’t want receive doubts in your feelings.

      Best decision here is honest conversation. Here we return to “natural hesitation”. Change is too big and if we are wrong it will be humiliating for our feelings. I was there. I tried. It can’t be done. I tried to put this story in prepared and loved for me in years mold. I was ready to refuse work with this story. Than I return to last remedy – I destroyed outline which had before I didn’t tried to use good scenes which wrote before. I gave to story opportunity to tell what it had.

      As result it has not lot in common with my plans, but now I have outline for three acts. I added new characters with connections about which I haven’t idea. I add names, using as reference alphabet, for not repeat first letters of name. It looks like work of some maniac, but it helps not to have George and Georgina in one story. With 17 characters it’s best solution.

      When such hesitation took a lot of time – not always is possible to save it. I just stopped to suffocate story with my ambitions. It became not as monumental as I planned, but I found a way how to write it. I think it’s more important here. Of course, this step is not life changing and point of no return, but each step ahead could be crucial in profession’s journey. As far it’s step not stop.

      Play Endless conversation.pdf

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      Language quota.

      7.06.2017

      With new law at Ukraine TV and radio is quota for Ukrainian language. Should be 75% daily. It was made mainly because of Russian language, French, German or even English not frequent guests on TV with films and TV serials without translation.

      Good that for now it’s not made for media in Internet. I with my daily English content could be definitely wrong.

      Languages, using all of them based on curiosity. I can’t count how many TV serials we watched in late hours on Polish TV: “Beverly Hills 90201”, “Ally McBeal” and others which names I now couldn’t remember. Every language is another possibility to learn about world.

      It’s good decision, some day it should be done. Language is our treasure, we should protect it. But products which are proposed in language should be better than others. Virtue of using language couldn’t be mark of quality. It’s never enough.

      English is attractive like language of possibility and recruit more and more adepts without quota. I think it’s awful practical question – why I need it, how it will help me – is most important in adding other foreign language.

      After English others, (if it’s not native language of you, language of your heritage, or language of your partner – in business or in love), others languages lose their attractiveness. Each language takes lot of time, in reality language takes in thousand times more time then you could imagine or plan. And this investment of time and money should be worth it.

      My never ending interest to languages is all the times warms up because of reading English articles and books about language learning. In this texts English didn’t count as foreign, so my mind all the time wonder. (It’s like with play – I couldn’t decide if put in text film director, or left him in other play like was invented before.) If give me chance to choose myself language… here are my wishes more courageous then grammar of unusual language.

      Play Tomorrow, after the End of Days.pdf


      9.30

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      Move on.

      6.06.2017

      I try to collect positive days and remember sad one. Today in Ukraine is Journalist’s day. At first I wanted to write something inspiring, something emotional. And changed my mind.

      What for? I move on few years ago. It was my profession, but now it’s my past. I write blogs almost daily, but I am sane enough not to call it journalism. It’s just emotions, feelings, not story with arguments.

      Now I have creative life and it’s more difficult for me to manage it. Especially shedule it and count results. I haven’t weekly target, I with each project change and try new, because I don’t know what will work this time. I learn without stop, like I work daily.

      I want to find better work organization, but with each outline, everything just fell. After invented and planned scenes I add two or more characters which need their lines and their story. Fiction have own rules, but I still didn’t master all of them. Creativity is out of control.

      In such way I can’t write how wonderful was to be a journalist. It’s like remember sweet times, when you could spend all days playing with toys in sandbox. I wanted to write at first – play with dolls, but remembered that now dolls are my talented actors, who help me to perform a story.

      All the time turn around to the past is bad habit. Move on, find something new.

      What is important will stay in your life year after year, decades and you even didn’t make effort to keep it. Your inside treasures will be in your veins, will be a part of you inner world. And you didn’t think how to make it priority. It’s just air to you. If you decide live without something important and give yourself reasons why it’s proper, don’t flatter yourself, you will feel poisonous lack of it. Wish to forget it won’t help.

      For me writing just changes forms, like water in different temperatures. I write all the time. Problem that now I open other ambitions inside myself – to show my stories. At first in illustrations. I am still not sure about directing.

      In journalism you are shadow, someone else create news reasons and you search for it, like wolf (banal image, popular in conversation about themes of articles). When I write all is depends on me. At some days I feel it more complicated to handle. You know, when for years everything were depended on decisions of other, to became The One Who Makes Decisions. It’s huge responsibility. It’s atractive way of life in the same time, stop to be invisible and be a source.

      So, with journalism, I moved on. Now I am trying to learn how to drive new item. But didn’t decide for now is it car, boat or plane, because of this still are problem in mastering driving license.

      Poetry in English: POETRY 2015.pdf


      9.10

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      Dracula forever.(5.06.2017- 2)


      I was attentive for not repeat same text in file twice. In result I lost one - play about Dracula on Ukrainian.

      Dracula is forever, so I unite Ukrainian and English texts.

      Play My sidekick Dracula.pdf


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      Whole truth.


      5.06.2017

      I will leave wordy posts on Mondays. Playwright blog still be weekly. Accidentally in June it happened on Thursday and I think it’s interesting idea – middle of the week, so I left this such way for now.

      Yesterday's attempt to have good weather almost worked. At early morning we had heavy rain but without thunderstorm. Now it’s time for post.

      Whole truth is that I didn’t wake up like English language writer. And this is why my morning much different than adviced.

      Did you read how to better start morning for writers? No? It’s hundreds of articles about it. Most of them about that you should at first made your bed. I can’t get why it’s connected with writing.

      Unmade bed as laziness or something unfinished, I didn’t dig such deep. You just made bed, why think about that a lot. Maybe I miss something in motivation, maybe I made bed in few seconds and didn’t give myself enough time for thoughts during it. I weekly receive articles about design on e-mail, and I think I understand why it takes so much time. Five, ten pillows on bed and sofa, in such way you have a lot of time to think during rearrange them in attractive castle.

      After made bed there are different ideas – to meditate, to light a candle and meditate. I can’t understand how could candle help me – it should have smell of English in it for that purpose.

      For women they suggest began with make up and during it to think about next day. Red nail polish and lipstic are my usual make-up. It won’t work.

      Whole truth I began working morning with unhealthy habit, not morning cigarette, but not far away from it. I switch on internet. Biggest sin for writers, I know.

      Why I need internet instead of writing other hundred of words? To woke up English language writer in me. I know, there are idea that you should speak with yourself in target language. For me it’s a little bit of madness. Why I should talk with myself in English in 5 o’clock in the morning?

      When I switch on computer I need use English to read what was written by other. It looks like passive, almost lazy activity and I can do it. Usually at time when I wrote post in the morning for me is proper level of language to write non fiction. Enough English is inside me for blog post. To write fiction I need more English. It’s next level.

      Reading news in the morning it’s not best idea, but why not. If I will read them later, nothing will change. And as journalist in the past, I have different feeling for news.

      Later I start to read something about writing. Here usually are articles in American English. USA aspiring writers like to write about writing. Sometimes for me is enough first paragraph, but usually I could find something to English mood. With screenwrites everything is different – if read blogs, they all live in LA, and roads of city of Angels made from pressed scripts.

      Whole truth is you choose your life and how it works for you. How to better spend your time, what give you fuel. I tried to start with Shakespeare in the morning. It didn’t work I need warm up before Bard, definitely.

      So only after preparation rituals I could work as English language writer. Everything had own price, writing also.

      Plays in Ukrainian: ТЕАТРАЛЬНІ П’ЄСИ.pdf


      9.55

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      Hide-and-seek.(4.06.2017- 2)


      My afternoon routine is to check weather for next day. Tomorrow we have holiday after Pentecost and no one will work. Of course, they promised thunderstorms for tomorrow's morning.

      Like usual I will play in hide-and-seek with weather. If I make work today there are chances that tomorrow will be sunny.

      I even didn't mention news - it's just never ending craziness. If people start to think someday or this all is after deep thoughts. Then I don't understand which is reason for all this doings. Is it fear? Should it be future weakness? Could it be future strenght?

      This time I put in one file all texts in Russian. Made it strange collection. Maybe it's my awfull behaviour, but I don't feel guilty that wrote also on Russian.

      I know now it's not proper place and time. I remember what's going on in Ukraine. But it's my work, I made it, I won't ask for forgiveness.

      Hide-and-seek here won't work. I love my Ukraine. Languages for me are creative tools, not marks of reliability.


      Plays in Russian: ТЕАТРАЛЬНЫЕ ПЬЕСЫ.pdf


      21.10

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      Unusual.


      4.06.2017

      Unusual it's not bad word for person who see herself a polyglot. You just pick up languages one after another. Today I put in one file my experiments with Bokmål.

      Plays in Bokmål: Teatralsk skuespill.pdf

      Language from Norway, country, where I never was. It was 2004 year. Orange Revolution changed a lot and all thought and plans were also unusual.

      My love to Scandinavian mythology find a way to languages. I bought a dictionary Norwegian-Russian and was sure that is enough to learn a language - study book and vocabulary.

      Later I learned that for some languages I fail in level of alphabet - like with Chinese or Arabic languages. Japanese I even didn't try. Without problem of alphabet I couldn't move forward with how words are made with Turkish and Hungarian languages. But for some level made progress with German with all their never ending complicated words.

      Wish is not enough. Should be something else, like with Castelano I was in middle of nowhere with understanding audio, till I didn't find TV serials from Columbia and at least began to understand what they say.

      Now all my time dominated by English. I sometimes wish to add other, not English language, but after day or two I find other problem in English which should be solved and put that ideas away.

      When I played with languages, I didn't think that should be good level of knowledge. Everything looked possible. On some literature festival was idea that we could understand own country using mirror of other culture. And with my A1 in Bokmål I began rubric in "Aksioma" - "Вітер з Норвегії" (Wind from Norway). I compared something, invented, write a lot.

      It's arrogant to see such way languages. Like all that ideas among polyglots - 10 to 50 languages. No way. Language need respect and all time and energy which you have. If you want long relationships, not one date.

      Bokmål was unusual because I began to create stories on it. Post-post modern, but I tried. It was first time idea that it's possible to create something on foreign language for me. In Norsk experiment I used texts of other writers, but it was enough to poison my mind with such idea.

      English couldn't be named unusual. It's good that there are such amount of resourses to improve it. Unusual was to write on it texts fiction and non fiction. Some decision in life are difficult, but you never regret that made them. And English which was experienced partner with other writers, I hope will be good and long time match for me also.


      9.20

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      Self-taught artist.


      3.06.2017

      My returning to the art was after understanding after school that I can't even draw a line properly. In my creativity art is supporter material, so I tried to use it.

      I always was jealous to people who could easily draw. I thought it just such amazing. Or people who could play on instruments. Now I think it's because they easy could show what they could.

      I don't think that someone will think it's interesting to see how person write. I saw a lot of videos where artist step by step draw something. People watch it, even if it's three hours long master class. I didn't see video where writer just type text which creates. I even don't know what should be shown - hands or eyes during process.

      For artists there are a lot of materials and it's interesting to play with all of this. Most important there are self-study books, articles a lot of them. And you start to believe that after you repeat it, you will receive the same result.

      I found image how it is in reality:

      blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      I will translate:
      1. Draw two circles.
      2. Draw legs.
      3. Draw face.
      4. Draw hair.
      5. Add little details.

      Why in all books about mortal arts there are a lot of explanation about long time to learn it. In drawing books - just believe us and you will be painter. Maybe, because art couldn't be mortal and dangerous.

      Self-taught artist all the time fight with what have in mind and what see on paper as result. Usually they had nothing in common.


      Text Old sins.pdf

      9.00

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      Fresh air. (2.06.2017 - 2)


      It's difficult attempt, but I try to see in everything positive moments.

      When neighbours return to their repair. I try to be grateful to them, that they made impossible burnout and I felt myself fresh after writing only 5 pages of play.

      I am grateful that near grandfather's flat not for a moment stops building of new house and there I can't concentrate also, even writing by hand.

      It all helps choose to spend day on fresh air, choosing walking instead of stuffy bus.

      Everything is green, warm day, which will be too hot if wasn't cold wind which make walking more pleasant.

      And when return home, you are happy that repair is stopped for today. And with this energy you just decide to remake one more play and receive more place for future projects.

      Text Perversion.pdf

      19.35

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      Unite.


      2.06.2017

      Maybe it's not best idea, but I choose to unite in one pdf all connected with "Actor plays Hamlet". Even put in the same file text on Russian. The same with "Old sins" and "Perversion".

      I saw a lot of multilingual books and maybe here it's also possible.

      I know better will be to revise all texts, but I can't do it now. Because I should rewrite them from beginning. It will took a lot of time, which I could spend on something else.

      I left it how it is, like examples of my early work with English.

      Next story is also Hamlet connected, but I won't wait till finish it. It will be next file.

      Now I am thinking of illustrating story. I can't choose how to dress my actors which will play in Hamlet. I like historical costumes. I am tired of contemporary Hamlet. I am curious someone already used idea to add to text twitts between Hamlet and Ophelia or this should be made by me...

      With historical costumes I am not sure if I could sew them. But for me they are still inspiring. Again should return to drawing sketches. For now it is only in future experiments.

      Time spend with Prince is never wasted time.

      Play Actor plays Hamlet.pdf

      7.30

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      Reorganization.


      1.06.2017

      Like I announced, I return Playwright at work.

      From today I rename blog about my all activities not connected to plays writing to "Creativity in progress".

      8.15

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