Playwright at work blog by Kate Aksonova.


    To see clear.
    Outline or not, what a question.
    Life in invented world.

    Blog - Creativity in progress.

      Life in invented world.


      When I write about different results of my writing, it’s what advised as professional.

      But when for a moment return to reality. It’s not the same when a builder say how many bricks find their place today. (Sound of “Bob the builder” as background.) We are proud that daydreamed for few hours and it was productive daydreaming. And all that advices how be more comfortable in day dreaming.

      I exaggerate a little. But all that struggles – I sit for whole day and couldn’t invent something. We never say – I was in the garden, looked at the vegetables and just can’t imagined how to pull it out of soil. Madness in whole image.

      Did I say that I adore my work? I could whole day read fiction and non fiction books and articles. No one could name it waste of productive time. I do my research.

      In all books about writing it’s axiom that writing is worth spend on it time. It has value, we name it calling.

      I know, some people want, dream to be a writer. But it’s not clothes which you should try. You just born like this and can’t see how will be other way.

      It’s like drawing. I always like it, but in school I wasn’t good enough in it. And only in playwright’s activities I returned to it. But now, when I look at my palette – I think main reason it weren’t colours, but mud and I can’t predict it could be interesting for me. It looks disgusting, it couldn’t be my hobby.

      All people could try something what always was on their mind. To write a book, to paint a picture. Act of creating something new is amazing. No matter if you create little poem or sketch of the plane. Create something with engine it’s more difficult, but more usual, maybe. At least it could be touched, felt.

      Add value to the text, painting it’s life in inventing world, fantasy. We should convince other that it’s something important. No one should convince that chocolate is important during thinking and stress. To suggest book it’s like prescribe medicine, dangerous from not professional. The same with painting – choose image which you will see daily for months or years.

      All this find time for creativity, are excuses – just for don’t say aloud terrible truth. Nothing will change if you don’t write this book, draw this painting. You will feel miserable and unhealthy, because it’s your way of living. If you are ok with that, don’t punish yourself. Try knitting, bird watching, buy yourself a pet.

      This post is attempt to change point of view. I heard it could help, when you are too deep inside invented world.

      Sometimes I live too seriously and this wish to share results as prove that what I do, is in some way countable. It’s retell stories from life of my imaginable friends. When you read only about writing, all is perfect. When you turn head around, other people live with different aim and in such moments I feel some kind of lost in unknown town without map. Like when on radio is “Besame mucho” on French even it was by amazing Dalida, beautiful, but it sounds wrong, I prefer Cesaria Evora.



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      I began writing second act. In second act is time for exaggeration or add complications. In mystery it is when no one could be trusted.

      Problem that I can’t add more details to plot of Hamlet. What if Prince had brother? Or better sister, and we could add interesting idea with Laertes’s love. Who wanted to be a King? Did Hamlet wanted to be a King before entered Ghost? Was Ghost answer to questions which he asked? Could Ghost visited both children? Where are kids of Claudius and could they also wanted to be King?

      It’s all exaggeration. It’s not always make sence, but helps to think. Every writer could invent as much possible complications to each characters. It’s absolutely agains real life. In real life we all made and will make mistakes, we are first time here we could be wrong. But in real life we want to solve our problems, don’t like when our errors are talked about and by ourselves remember our sins. We want to forget and move on. In plotting all previous sins and mistakes enter to stage and spoil life of every character.

      In play when person needs support, s/he receives complication of problems. It helps playwright to move forward. In real life when we need support, we need “Don’t give up” and we appreciate it. It helps to move forward in battle with own problem. In play we could add to character scene of jealousy or something else unsuitable, because we need reason to separate characters for two more scenes and add scene of uniting later.

      In my play characters started to quote, talk about theatre. I wanted to make it in essays format later. Now I try to delete this and make play without lot of talks about nature of theatre. Here is exaggeration from characters.

      Every play, if it’s more then one thousand words in length is complicated. But it’s complication which you used to. Like with sea, you know there are waves and depending of waves you will choose if it will be safe enough to go swimming or not. And you swim, have pleasure of water around you and it’s comfortable. Maybe reason why I didn’t manage to solve novel writing challenge is because it’s already level of ocean and I never saw the ocean. Or I just exaggerate a little because of possible quantity of vocabulary which I should master to novel.


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      Outline or not, what a question.


      There is one huge battle among writers, the same as White and Red Roses War, outline your writing or not.

      There are some winners and loser, lot of advices about each of that. Talks about way of your work it’s for writers more important than religion.

      I was pantser, this is mean that all work made just sitting on what everyone sit day after day and such way work somehow was done. I tried to write not sitting, but standing, because read somewhere it help your mind to work better. Hundred of squats it’s what helps your mind not to fell asleep. But if you want to sleep during your writing, poor readers, if only they don’t search for good sleeping pill.

      This search for flow which help you to be free. It’s like should be creativity produced. Better with writing by hand with pen and paper, all look of real writer and add here mud on pallet for artist.

      What are benefits everyone knew or think that understand? What is wrong here? You never know what will be next and when will be ending. It’s kill every motivations, lead to searching of inspiration and end with unfinished manuscript. Or if you finish it will take a lot of time, endless time. Years to be exactly.

      Plotters also work using target organ as balance during writing. But when I look at window, I look because my eyes are tired. If I need to know what to do next, I just look at notes. I also add information which shouldn’t miss to mention. I don’t have to remember everything and this is best in planning part. You could daydream about anything else, because your text is in front of you, waits when you will return to it.

      Disadvantage of planning, that not always you will end with what you plan. You will have scene 3.1, 3.2, 3.3 in outline, which in text are from ten to fifteen. Because after scene you need scene between previous and next.

      In outline, when I made notes, I see which part of work I already did and could think about what to do next. It helps to remember names of characters.

      Outlining it’s best reminder about holes in story for which you will need more research or put somewhere again characters which you mention only once or just forget that s/he stays somewhere in the beginning of the scene and should participate in it or do something else to exit from it.

      Even with notes I try to go from beginning of story till end. If I will write in parts, I will have the same quantity of stories, as I have parts or more, because I will add new characters.

      I tried both road. Add outline, not to have control above your work. Relationships with story more complicated that just strict rules. Notes help to put somewhere all inspiration and helps to see what else should be done. Most important you could start collecting notes for others projects and free your mind for main story.



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      To see clear.


      First of all is explanation why I think that Thursday is the middle of the week. Three days were and three days ahead. I have nothing personal against Wednesday.

      Second. I think I have clear vision about where play has struggles. I had to refuse from different interesting complications to decorate the story. Most difficult was not to play with few languages. I made research, spend a lot of time in preparation, planned how I will make it and after refuse. Too many elements I wanted to add and it was clear that plot is difficult to see.

      Now I am thinking what to do with lot of endless conversations about understanding plays and theatre. Maybe best solution will be to make few essays about it. It’s specific material, I don’t know if it will be interesting for spectators. Montaigne was for a long time my inspiration in writing on different themes, the same is with Čapek. I have this characteristic – write in character’s conversations what should be written as other form of texts.

      When I didn’t write text at first place and find reasons to stop it later I try to find an answer – why. What was wrong? Where I feel something different or receive other result? It’s always not perfectly clear, it’s vibration. Good when in this time there are atmosphere not for working – loud repair or something like that. In this time I play with ideas, plot. You know like with gemstone, trying to catch in it sun ray and see how clear it is.

      Usually I find a problem or see that tried to connect different things and what I create wasn’t such good, but with lot of connection inside of it such problem was unnoticed. For now I see clear all parts of play. Terribly, but I found few ideas which used before. For too long it was not written and I borrow them.

      For now I didn’t make final decision for this play: work on remade it in something new and healthy or give it chance to rest and became 100th play.


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      First day of summer and I return my playwrighting blog. Whole month I experimented with short stories and novels it didn’t work for me now.

      I return to playwright’s life. This time I want to change something – try to work slowly. It’s not stop work and wait when something happen, it’s like Achilles and the tortoise. Move slowly, exploring story inch by inch and searching in it weak and strong points.

      I all the time tried to make everything quickly. I wrote play in the month, completed text in a week and finished whole story in the day. I thought such competition is what could be motivation.

      At the end it lead to burn out. I have wish to write something, but haven’t enough energy. It’s like with loosing weight – all that intensive workouts: interval or few in a day. It works not for long, you just can’t. In end you gain weight because work too hard and have to stop for few weeks.

      Writing plays once a week it’s interesting, exciting, but use all energy and in the end you can’t work at all. Whole product cycle is too quick and you haven’t time to learn how you make it. Without deep and slowly analysis it’s impossible to use previous experience. Each play like first project ever and it’s not productive.

      In such speed it’s diffiult to make plans or turn your head around to notice landscape. I will try to do impossible for me - make speed slowly, but constant.

      Some items are ready to consumptions after were made. But there is whisky with 3, 10, 16, 50 years old. No one is complains that is slow. It makes taste different and everyone are agree.

      I don’t think that could make play such slow, even for a year. I will try to be more tender to process of creating. For me is battle with temptation. In book (not mine) I need to know how it will end and after it return and slowly read whole story. It’s not usually help when I didn’t read about all involved characters, so I have no idea who is who.

      When I write myself, I am rarely could see final page. I have plan, sometimes written scene with interesting final words. After that characters starts to live own live and change my plans. So my wish is to write quickly, I need to know how it ended. To work slowly is to give opportunity to characters explain why they do something. I remembered this joke which I quoted time to time “I need patience. Now!”

      Work on writing projects it’s not daily routine of other work. Each time everything is different. It’s not like in painting that paint will dry depending of circumstances. In writing there are times when you write post for two hours. (Like I wrote yesterday’s text. Neighbours decided to start early in the morning repair, I couldn’t hear my thoughts and couldn’t read whole text at once. It’s when you know what you want to write, but ended with what you remember to write and lot of ideas are left aside.) Or in five hours write seventeen pages.

      Slowly it’s when you have time for everything. You are not nervous and you have strenght to do it. Slowly it’s when you taste one candy and not eat twenty of them with different taste and couldn’t know which taste had 5th and 17th. Yes, it’s also about me. Now I just work to make more spare place on site. Problem that I don’t remember all plays at once. I need glance on them, to return memory. I didn’t even talk about names of heroes.

      Good idea is to stop and revise all of them. But only with next text I could improve language. Slowly bit by bit, I notice more and more words in vocabulary which are circled in red, words which I should know. This idea with red is helpful, it’s visual prove of made work.

      They suggest to check from 3 to 5 words daily. Who invent this? Here I need to make as much steps, as possible. It will help me reach next level, where I could slowly and thoughtfully taste new meaning of received knowledge.

      I am ready to choose this challenge. Other question is which speed of slowly I will choose in the end. Knowing myself I could end in motor race field’s norms.

      Hamlet is marathon. I am not sure that will run it with new world result. But here for me is more important to overcome distance and receive complete play at finish line.


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