In progress


blog by Kate Aksonova.


    How about that idea?

      How about that idea?


      It’s all right, I just deleted all blog posts. For me it’s first step when I change road, get rid of previous plans and talks.

      Main problem that my inner critic always strong or I could name it some kind of gut feeling. I know myself, when I made something worth sharing or have only some parts of the possible puzzle.

      Like I said before:

      “I invented new characters and now I think she could have more than one mystery and is capable for future adventures.” 19.03.2018

      “I started to feel uncomfortable with first person point of view. It’s like I talk about myself all the time but as invented character. Unusual feeling, in my first novels which I wrote many years ago I accepted it as some freshness of style.

      ...Maybe I need to make from it real mystery. I not think about novel, it scary me of their 100 000 words length. But I love read and watch mysteries, more than romance.

      Of course I will need to work with structure. Probably add more scenes. For now I didn’t sure about third point of view. It give me chance to avoid usual scenes of confessions to main character.” 21.03.2018

      It’s noticeable that I had issues with making what I want. Or maybe it was problems in not seeing what I want.

      I started to read about proper mystery structure and genres which are possible to me. Court room mystery was denied first. Knowing law is strong necessity.

      Idea with cozy mysteries I liked. But here I should gave some business for main character. Here my mind gone wild because of possible women’s craft. Most difficult was to choose which one.

      Knitting, gardening and cooking – I know about it something more or less, but to make it life choice for character is difficult.

      Animals? I haven’t pets, but I wrote about cat, parrot, puppy, mice, chickens, elephant, dragon and many other characters. A lot to choose from. But this daily moments which later became viral as funny videos I haven’t.

      In my draft was idea to make her somehow connected with art. Illustrator or something like that. I even invented her name with K A as beginning letters, to use my possible sketches. Story I wrote interesting, but I saw all weakness. Victim was too two-dimensional. It’s crazy, but I was sorry to refuse this story only because male character. Mister Adam Alpha – I am endlessly proud of myself.

      I talk about my not worked ideas, other writers write only about works which they completed. But I write text in one day to ten days period of time, so I can’t one year talk about inciting incident in twelves draft of my novel.

      “I made too many attempts in creative field. Many of them I refused to move further. I read a lot, I think a lot and made a bunch of wrong decisions and didn’t make a step to what is right.

      ...I wrote that my current problem in texts that I started to write too many locations, too many characters and second lines. For my stories is not enough now just chair and table on the stage like was at the beginning.

      I was poisoned and seduced at the same time with possibility to show what I saw in the story. Decorate own stage and made costumes for characters it’s such attractive activity that you forget how much time and money you spend on it. You just play with your invented world and can’t stop.

      ...Some time ago I wrote that most of all I don’t want to be a novelist. Because there are lot of books out there, there are still problems in my active English level. And I could name reasons to refuse for three days without pause. Then I read article by screenwriter, who worked in business for 20 years. He wrote that problem with what we write there is limited quantity of people who will read your text if it never be filmed or staged. It’s paradox we write for potential big auditorium and then in form of our texts we put huge border from them.

      I can’t tell that many of people who I know love to read plays before bed. Few of them honestly told me that my play was first play which they read after finishing school or university, where plays were in reading list. What we write is coding for people who know our language. It’s not Esperanto, but definitely not French in which everyone knows “o-la-la!”. It could be used as communication, but person should be used to such form.

      And in that article I also read that screenwriter started to write novels, because of freedom to be read, possibility to use what you want in everything from locations to time of day for scene. It’s not proper quotation, because after it I read a lot of articles about comparison of screenplay and novel. Of course, script is shorter to write, less responsibility for author. But in novel - “you have all money to produce what you want with pen and paper”. Again we returned to freedom.

      ...What I have now – is too many not finished and not published texts which needs more place than stage. I could be wrong, but I will try something new in my storytelling activity.” 29.01.2018

      This huge quotes as to not repeat about what I think for a long time. Problem that I am such tired of endless noise that I can’t work or think probably. What I want to try to do as future project is deja vu or project which I already had in my not written ideas. For now I didn’t find date, but it was before English writing. I had an idea, idea which I will not write in it basic form, but which will be used as parts of new research.

      I was scary to left my playwright profession, because I know something here. What I think about my future as screenwriter – you can read in “Sunset in LA”. Every mystery, every story which I had I feel that this is some kind if infidelity to my main addiction with writing plays to theater.

      Many years ago I had simple idea about mysteries connected with amateur theater. Sense of this idea – Polti’s 36 dramatic situations as inspiration for every story.

      Conclusions were how about this kind of idea? Of course, I will stay in comfort zone connected with theater. But I could gain experience to write texts as text, not only plays. There I could put my endless ideas about theater which I had in notes. Shakespeare, Chekhov and Ibsen as victims about which I still didn’t say what I wanted. Of course there are place to dramatic situations and other stuff.

      I want to write mysteries which are somehow connected with theater and people which are around it.

      I know it’s not knitting or cooking with receipts in the end of book. Still can’t understand how people could try receipts which suggest person who writes about food poisoning.

      Probably trigger to that was yesterday’s day of puppeteer. I have no idea. But I tired so much to find out how to be proper and I want to be myself and do what I think is exciting. It will bring more changes in characters, locations and everything else. But once I already refused to fight to make this idea come true and I regret it.

      Sorry for long text. I just wanted to explain why I change my mind such drastically.


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