№90. Brush touch.
Presumption of guilt.
22th in 28.
25 of May, 2020
For a long time, since April 2017, I didn't write theatre plays for kids. This one will continue my work in this direction.
Text was too complicated for me to write in Française, so I still experiment.
Enjoy the text.
Ballet class. pdf
Давно не писала українською, але сьогодні не маю нервів на іноземну.
Була в ощадкасі, це гарний початок для розповіді про божевілля. Чотири черги які скупчені люди один на одному без жодної відстані. Термінал в коридорі чеки не видає. В особистому кабінеті відсутній був чек на ОСББ. Оплачено за цифрами по квитанції. Після цього мати подзвонила голові ОСББ після чого її було вичитано людиною яка молодша за віком за те що вона заплатила і на розмови з нею не було часу. Коли попередній раз так само були проблеми і не заплатили, час нагадати був і була визнана провина за невчасне подання даних. В ощадбанку людини відповідальної за рахунки теж не існує.
Це мені нагадує як Львівська Міська Рада другий рік поспіль забуває, що мій батько є “афганцем” коли доходить до виплат. Відповідальна особа в органах соц захисту робить великі очі і каже що не вона вкрала ці гроші.
В жодному разі не пов'язую це з прізвищем, бо третій день поспіль маю проблеми з оператором мобільного зв'язку і вони знають тільки моє ім'я. Питання досі не вирішено.
Я маю на увазі що цей карантин дав чудове виправдання нічого не робити і не працювати взагалі, навіть коли проблеми тягнуться не перший день, місяць або рік. Але в нас карантин, тому щодня бачу переповнений громадський транспорт старими та матусями з дітьми в візочках, також вільний вхід для бомжів. Звичайно, вони забезпечують життєдіяльність міста.
Церкви зачинені, а почали з відкриття торговельних центрів. Зрозуміло, стежка до Бога трохи інша від тієї якою вони ходять щодня.
14 of May, 2020
One more tiny text for kids.
This time I made page on index for Française and put there my foto from 1983 year.
11 of May, 2020
New tiny text, for kids.
Maybe quarantine is reason for my decision.
So, first text in French. Pourquoi pas?
7 of May, 2020
New text, 103 fotos made to illustrate it. All process was on Instagram.
What next? I need some time to figure out which project to make. Now on hold are 3 projects which could start next. Will think for which I have everything.
29 of April, 2020
It shouldn’t be second-guess, but this month won’t be new text. I finished draft and now it waits the difficulties of revision. Again I wrote something which takes some scenes in nature, maybe it’s necessity for some freedom.
Talks about quarantine and what should be done became more and more odd. Why not open little shops with necessary stuff, which easy breaks. Why in big shops necessary items aren’t? And if are restricts rules against public transport, all is manageable if you own a car. Talks about discrimination are more and more frequent. Less and less people are in mask. If +23C and sunny, it’s only act of will power, not common sense.
Most unusual that people could be recognized in masks, people still talk, even it looks strange with social distancing. And one more thing – war what pet is better win dogs. It’s uncountably quantity of puppies on the streets. Bigger dogs could be seen frequently during day with different escort. Cats and gold fishes are out of competition.
Haircut. Mute scream here. I found head hoops, now it’s manageable at home. To public they are too bright colours, let’s say such way. I predict which queue will be to haircut salons when they will be open. I just think maybe a little bit longer hair is not a big deal and for more time I could live without perfect bangs.
23 of April, 2020
As read in newsletter today is World Book Day and counts as birthday of Shakespeare, so… I started work at new text, probably it will be again play, which is reasonable, if remember who’s birthday we celebrate today.
Maybe idea is little bit outdated because of season change, but I want some beauty. I want some blossom because quarantine prolongation till 12th of May. I can’t make big project which invented, so I do what I can in this direction, drop which maybe not shows my whole idea.
Who reads me for a long time, knows my favourite motivation quote. Who didn’t know, I will repeat myself. “If you see aim, run for it. If you can’t run for it, walk to it. If you can’t walk, crawl to it. If you can’t crawl for your aim, just lie down in necessary direction.”
There is a wish to write about something good, even with hope, then check new fotos from Kiev and understand that now it’s not the time. There are all the time reminder that smoke in Kiev is not radioactive but it’s still dangerous to breath. Air in Kiev lives on own rules. I remember when early morning arrived there, exit from the tube and fog was such enormous, that couldn’t be seen other person in one meter in front of you. Few hours and day was sunny. Also I was there at one of the hottest day, roads melted under feet and it was receiving paper for writing and all what was important is more water to drink.
Now whole hysteric because it’s smoke from fire in Chernobyl’s region. Ghost of this disaster is too dangerous and too close all the time.
Daily new numbers of ill and dead of Corona-19, after it what happens on front. Life became absolutely out of norm and we still try to make plans and solve daily problems.
Yesterday, now can’t name it “went shopping”, maybe better tried to buy something. So, was outside. You know, that queues everywhere are enormous and you start to notice that in reality there aren’t access to basic stuff. Decorative cosmetic as lipstick forbidden to sell, inside mask better is something without colour, it’s clear, but lipstick also has expiring date. (Found Nivea med repair, because something with additional taste is too much). In supermarket are empty shelves instead of pens and felt-tip pens, left only colour pencils. I just checked that few colours ended and in one shop found last felt-tip pens to 12 colours. I needed red and yellow, not something unusual. Everything ends and norms of normal life change all the time to worse. Sure idea with closing all food markets not sounds smartest, because it will end in trash after few day, week or more. I don’t visit them now, but in general it’s not what solve all problems.
As I wrote before I have no idea what to write next. Now I research four to five projects and try to figure out what could work for this circumstances. There are rewritings and new projects. I just try to organize them in how they will work, other will be postponed to change of opportunities.
15 April, 2020
Theatre play in English №90.
In this text I see calligraphy as part of necessity to learn how to write letters at all. I won't explain my personal experience with awful handwriting and how hard was to me learn letters in childhood. I cried every time when had to do it and asked if possible instead of it count something in numbers. Thanks to my school teachers I later hated math.
Story is not about me, it's about problem which exists.
I put there some kanji, because I think it's more interesting that languages which are mainly known.
When I finished one project I all the time start to think what I will do next. Now we live in crazy time, so plans not always depends from me. As I read in the news, public transport for now will be open to everyone since July, pessimistic future. If even some art/office supplies or toys shops will be open, not everywhere is possible walk by feet. I am not talk about book shops. So, some projects will be postponed because I didn’t prepare all for few month autonomous work.
About Easter, in the end of this week. I won’t plan to go to church. Of course it’s crazy, because from one flat church is visible from window, near other flat it’s near five buildings on the road and church. As I mentioned, we live in crazy time and better is to stay home.
They all the time remind not to visit frequently shops. Who said that’s pleasure, which you want to repeat frequently? On the entrance you show your wrist and they tell you temperature. Gloves, mask, glasses, cap (because I should somehow control hair). You put everything in polyethylene, because now it’s necessity. And in our supermarket they bake. In many shops are little bakery inside. It’s hot. You are in all what covers you, look at the floor to know where to stay. I enter there if it’s really necessary. In little shop allowed one or two customer and door open, so you have possibility to breath.
Languages. I touch Japanese and try to make a dotted line, because I am not sure how far I could move without necessary vocabulary. In previous languages I have books, but don’t know what to choose. To see for few steps forward now I think it’s difficult.
Honestly, even I can’t blame quarantine for everything. There are projects, I have long wish to write them, but I don’t write them. Courtroom novels, my weakness of writing endless speeches and there I have problem with knowledge of laws. I learned law course at Uni, with additional media-law, but it’s not what writer needs to this stories. Who read me long enough, know about period of obsession with Grisham’s books (“Firm”, movie with more interesting ending, TV series stopped watching after two series). Perry Mason with solving everything during process (I think I know what to read in English). “Boston Legal” TV series for sure, “Bull” stopped to watch don’t remember in which season. I like this genre, maybe because it’s mystery created in talks. But I haven’t slightest idea how to write it myself. Why I remember about that genre? I started to watch new TV series “All rise”. Some humour, some drama, and Lola’s wardrobe.
I love humour, if there is chance watch it, I use it to maximum. If I need humour and some information – Доктор Комаровский answering questions.
So, this is in short about my next writing project – I don’t know what to write, but will write something.
A little bit of yapping.
At the morning broke down last plastic hairgrip. For some time had short hair, so I didn’t use them. Who knows when will be open hairdressing salons? So I decided to make simple step, went to nearest shop to buy it.
Showcase with hairpins closed with black polyethylene, few month ago the same was with alcoholic drinks. It was made to make them less attractive, it bring more questions to shop assistants – what the hell is there. They wasn’t on disposal, but souls in need could buy them without additional “beauty”. With hairpins it’s forbidden.
So at first there aren’t chance to receive normal haircut, next there is no chance to make something with unruly hair. As said shop assistant the same new rule forbid to sell perfumes in the bottles and also even packed lingerie. I am afraid to ask which idea was main to forbid sell lingerie and let to sell socks.
Fear and panic terribly perfect works together. Today was new wave, was announced that in our region will be closed everything, because at Sunday is big holiday. Somehow people should stay home, so curfew is perfect for that. From Saturday till Monday morning. At the afternoon few times was said it won’t be that way. But everyone already went to the shops, because who know that it won’t be. All streets are in queues to shops which are open. There is fresh joke about it: “Third time in a week went shopping for food to next two weeks.”
It’s absolute madness with everyone in mask in spring. Unlucky few use public transport and they all also in masks. Person who counts visitors inside shop and if allow enter new one is new level of power, most mighty now. And also testing temperature entering supermarket.
New advertisements form with making plans for May, before that was plans after 3rd of April. I know, I could very emotional write about new rules, make a lecture about people rights. It’s my profession. There was saying that journalists are barking dogs which couldn’t let politics to sleep. It’s our job. We should make everything better or point to what is worse. But now, I am asking not as journalist, but as person who works at home using brain, even if centre of my body gravity in other place. Please, someone, no matter which level – forbid turn on music, singing, playing musical instrument to whole volume. If country is in quarantine because of illness, stop celebrate it like last day off.
Some people find new hobby and watch on TV school lessons, there are such amount of terrible and stupid mistakes that our on-line life daily receives new memes. Who could predict that for adults will be such interesting to watch lessons for kids?
Yes, I work on revision. Idea of text I decided was to complicate just to write post about it.
I don’t like to write about this again and again, but our countrie’s rules are now presumption of guilt. Quarantine from 12.03 resets to zero and from today on the roads to Lviv will be roadblocks to check temperature of drivers. Why the hell was previous quarantine that now from beginning all should do the same as was done from 12.03, counting self-isolation. Maybe if use mind better made strict rules for people who didn’t live in strict rules and gave chance to visit at least shops to lessen stress of endless talks that will be no more food.
If from 12.03 was washed every damned street of town and shops inside we don’t need everyone now wear masks. Also doesn’t count that many people wore masks from 12.03.
If everything doesn’t look terrible and prisoned for now, for make life worse will be our new laws which planned to vote during strict quarantine. It will be new law about language and media, it will kill freedom of writing and also publishing texts at English. Content will be delicate and only on Ukrainian. I haven’t slightest idea how to solve this and now it’s not proper time to do so. If will be chance, I will publish next text. Now I really hard work to make it faster.
Today again revise text, so there is endless wish to write something else.
From 12 of March we had quarantine, from today rules be much strict. Few questions about showing identity documents to police. 1st if give them document and they already could touch document of person who is ill it’s bad. 2nd to identify person should be removed mask and this also against rules and additional danger. So here are problems between common sense and law. I hope it will be solved somehow.
And somehow should be made clear about masks. Which one and for how long? If they didn’t change colour, who knows how frequently they were changed. My granny was nurse in surgery for 40 years, in WWII also. Mask should be washed, better if asepticize. It could be even made at home if necessary. I am not sure that is possible with all that masks with smiles or other crazy prints.
With gloves it’s terrible for hands (polyethylene, nitryle). But if after it will be returned to fashion wearing gloves for daily basic I will vote for it with both hands. I ridiculously adore gloves and could choose them for hours, colours, details. Please, someone make them and stop with that awful decorated with beads masks.
Again about few words what to do at home ideas. In advertising there are endless possibilities. “You always wish… now is proper chance to try it.” Quarantine proposed as start of new life possibilities. All this reminds me of old joke. “Doctor, after this operation I could play the piano. Of course. Cool, I never could.” Before quarantine was some kind of life, try to find routines which is possible to make now. If person didn’t like to read, it didn’t change to open whole libraries on-line. Quarantine change our possibilities to do something, but not wish to do something. We had priorities and they left on places.
Learn foreign language – now I have “experience” with Japanese. Never in my life I started to look at language without dictionary, bunch of study books near my hand. It’s endlessly scary. I am not sure in my steps. I just don’t put necessity of results from it. I enjoy the process of writing and count this as meditation.
After prepared and eat some food, checked news. Check news first and last thing during my day. Facebook page lvivVScoronavirus became main resourse.
Since today will be no more passengers in public transport. Only special transportation with resolution.
For now for me it won't change nothing. I didn't use public transport since beginning of quarantine, from 12.03. There are few shops and one supermarket not far away. My usual trip is connected with walking from one flat to other. I think that even new rules couldn't stop me from visiting properties where I have ownership when I want without explanation.
This attempt to stop illness looks strange, if count that yesterday returned in Ukraine 9000, day before that 11000. All who wanted returned when was announced about closing borders. Now returns who lost job because of quarantine in other countries. This process is unstoppable. Borders open and continuing prevention will be till second advent. On-line heard idea to change date of Easter. Maybe remove to Christmas, just in case?
Didn’t write post yesterday, because still there are idiots who believe that 1st of April perfect time for joke even now.
As always, will be unpopular opinion and thoughts to which is difficult to agree.
I wrote that from 17 of March began in Ukraine quarantine with closed everything what will be closed. From 3 of April it should end. It won’t be such way. Why? Because government care about our health? In reality it’s pretending to care about anything. Nothing was made when should be made.
How it was at beginning – returned few people from China and they were met with stones. Nothing for prevention wasn’t made in whole country. When their two weeks finished were closed schools and universities with kindergartens in country. All kids were at the streets for week.
Few words about education. From 6 of April, on TV will be lessons for school daily. Everything described as good idea. If someone remember that school stopped to work before 17 of March could be made different conclusion. School teachers in whole country didn’t manage to make their work and continue education of kids during few weeks. They are not proper for this work and now country will make their job, because it will look less disastrous.
Passed next few days and were closed all shops, work of offices should be stopped. Was said that Ukraine closes all their borders. Since “closed” borders time few hundreds thousands of people returned in Ukraine from work and holidays abroad. Few days ago it was low quantity – only 9000 during day, I counted zeros correctly.
And from today begins pretending of worry about citizens of Ukraine. People older than 60 forbidden to left the house. Food maybe will bring someone. Maybe, because not all kids and grandchildren live near, at that town, country. Not everyone has someone.
Government and new again, for now we change minister of health care once a week, just in case, cares about old one. Really? During quarantine when car warning of not left home already warned, my mother, her friend (same age) and many more old people were called in Ощадбанк, to change bank cards because now is the time. It was waiting in the queue. Visiting few times because - “what I can do, system is not working.” Rude and humiliating answers by phone because – “what you want, system is working”. It was during “care” about our old one.
When President said that will return all Ukrainian people home probably he didn’t mean it will be evacuation. And when President said that in Ukraine people stop crying, he definitely joked.
Previous week country received tests. What was made? Correct, yesterday in Lviv started to check with them drivers of tram and trolley bus. Not people who returned from abroad and for which won’t be sanctions that they didn’t self-isolated for two weeks as they signed when returned home. They are drunk went on the streets without masks, visit relatives and babies now in reanimation because of disease. They shouldn’t make tests, they made them anonymously in private laboratories which rare tell about real results. Money still is more attractive than truth. No, Government didn’t notice that they are mainly male which didn’t present in country since start of conflict in Ukraine, where still people killed.
No, Government, Police, National Guard will do anything to stop old people to left their flat and walk at least few hundred metres near house because it’s necessary for proper work of not young heart. My grandfather didn’t walk near house for last few months of his life, he was almost 90. He believed that it works better for his health that any other medicine. Staying at home, stop talking with others, it will bring new deceases. They will die, older people, they will die forgotten, hungry, sick. And government will say it was because of Corona.
Just unpleasant coincidence, total “care” about people, with kids till 16 years stay home, started day after new law of selling land. There were talks it will bring new revolution in our country. And just by coincidence my age couldn’t be on streets without documents and clear explanation why on earth I decided to buy food for my parents which haven’t right to leave flat.
There is terrible problem, it’s called pandemic. It will destroy lives, futures of many people who will be lucky and not receive this illness. Just during that time solving problem and change law in country doesn’t looks like care, just attempt to receive quick possible profit during terribly difficult times.
There is possibility that after that text could be closed my site, because we haven't right to disagree with something. Let's see, maybe they will be more busy with thinking about own benefits.
Yes, I am angry, helpless and terribly tired. I still work, I am sick about endless "what else I can do because I am home" ideas everywhere, I started to unsubscribe because of this from newsletters. If you never of your own know what to do - try to make hole in the wall by your head, few hours will be spend somehow.
26 March, 2020.
15 scenes, 57 fotos made for this text (2 for posters).
Government of Ukraine prolonged quarantine for 30 more days, till 24 April.
Who checks my Instagram, could noticed that yesterday I made all illustrations to story. So few more days are till I make everything and publish new text.
Today was outside, to do list already was necessary to make this outing. There is need to buy something, pay bills (not all works on-line) and put some money on the phone.
Everything looks post apocalyptical already. People in masks, black sunglasses, depending of size of hand different colours of gloves. All queues on the streets with 2 metres between. Rare public transport, many cars suddenly freshly washed.
When return home, few time wash face and hands. With cosmetic it doesn’t work, face almost covered. Earrings and rings recommended not to wear. Be safe, take care.
For now I work, have few plans to future projects which didn’t connect with shops closed. As usual have wild idea for remaking text, still think if could unite it smooth.
My next project with working title “picnic” not moves such smooth as I planned. Maybe meanwhile I will check what could be revised from not published. I think about not necessary things. All started with simple research. In the text there is mentioning of playground for little character near house. I remembered name for “merry-go-round” and made a pause to search for difference between “swings” and “see-saw”. Such stuff only works with visual dictionary.
I came to English as adult learner, no matter that studied English since was 7 years old. I try to read as many kids books as possible, but sometimes I just don’t get some details. I think it was few days ago in one of TV-series episode. There was bobo doll. Good that they not only said this unknown word for me, they also show it. It’s awfully scary item and it wasn’t near me when I grew up as child. Maybe because of this I am not scared about clowns or any kind of dolls.
This is what was in my childhood, foto found on-line. It has name неваляшка/невгамовка. I had them in different sizes when was little, it made some sounds. It’s not scary, with such eyes which also moved, it more looked as joyful creature.
When as adult write story for kids, mainly it’s based on my own experience, memories as kid. Not exactly the same, in this case all my stories will be about kitchen or tea sets. But honestly about tea sets I have so many stories, that should make them as independent genre in my writing.
I research what is basic and sometimes to write one sentence I need few days to figure out what is the difference and how to put it in the stories. I honestly envy writers who could write historical fiction, it’s such amount of research.
There are rumours that quarantine in Ukraine will be prolonged till May. It’s awful, many people who are returned from abroad have virus and sometimes hide it. Everything not clear and work of shops unclear. Now all flower shops advertise as funeral services with black ribbons on the flowers, it’s madness.
Next is public transportation. In new rule there should be only 10 people inside of it. If not count driver. About counting. On the markets also couldn’t be no more than 10 people at one time. Question – shop assistants are counts as people or not? About transport, it’s not profitable to work like that, so there won’t be public transport no matter that in Lviv it’s not forbidden for now. In other cities closed also metro. About that was ridiculous mistake – was written that is also closed in Lviv. We haven’t it, but was big amount of jokes about it with idea that good that our sea port not closed for now.
So cars. What about that? We haven’t car in our family. My grandpa and father had cars with drivers, based on their work position. They didn’t buy later cars for themselves. I haven’t driving licence. I like to walk. But what to do with long distance. And I start to analyse, maybe it’s like with dolls – everything is from childhood. When we lived in places where father served in army, road was inside of it and it was walkable distance. About quality of our roads now written millions of jokes and elegies. Most cars at our roads are used cars from other countries. Maybe we just not right about cars, because even in new buildings are places for shops, not place for car to every flat of building.
It’s long post, sorry. I just think that this differences are in everything and to think and receive results as should be, I need to spend even more time to analyse such tiny details.
Busy, busy, busy in attempts to solve and figure out what could be made in one single day. From today Lviv closes everything except shops with food and pharmacies, banks. It called prevention against CORONA-19.
In reality are endless queues on the streets, because for now only one or few people could be inside, everyone crowded outside. At first were closed schools and other education connected institutions. Now closed everything. On the cafes written till 3rd of April. At least such situation is for now.
Tomorrow will be closed borders and any kind of transport connection with other countries. That was announced. What will be next no one knows. People are angry and lost.
15 March, 2020.
This is short story for kids.
From tomorrow Ukraine will have quarantine. 3 weeks for now.
10 March, 2020.
New tiny text and I decided to add it to plays.
Since invented story for few days as part of research looked at beautiful fotos of tea cups.
6 March, 2020.
It’s not a maths exercise, it’s reality of Ukraine. In few previous days we received new government. 22th in 28 years of new independence of Ukraine. Someone could tell it’s many, someone could tell it’s not enough.
I read news, I listened to radio. And now I want to say my opinion. What I will say it’s contradiction. It’s against everything about scream, moan and cry hysterically “experts”. Probably it’s not good in the common sense.
We are not right in how we see situation or what we wait from the government. It’s not what waits “nation” or individual. We are terribly wrong in our expectations and as result we receive terrible disappointment with drastic changes to the level of possible new revolutions.
How we think? I want this, that and here, if possible till the end of this week. In Friday we don’t receive that and we receive end of the trust, drama and possibility of tragedy. Honestly, nothing wrong is here. We wanted, we hoped, we didn’t receive. We start to search, hope for something else which should give everything in list. It didn’t work again and again and same mistakes in the circles, which more and more reminds circles of hell.
What I see as solution, but no one agree with me or starts to build life around it to change somehow? I know what I want, I know that you can’t give it to me. Here usually everything is over, point of tragedy and new government. If see this as “dark night before sun rise”, it could be different. What you could give to me? What is your proposal? And will be thought if it’s suitable for me. Or even more should we accept it and could it be made as compromise, solution and moving somewhere in the end with steps forward.
Why such thoughts? From my painful usual experience in searching for props to my stories. My imagination are boundless, my real life is different. I am full of inspiration after watching new pins as ideas for miniatures houses. I want this and that and here I will make dramatic scene. I go to the toys shop and there are endless possibilities, in colours from gold to pink of bathrooms for dolls. I am not sure that could be even more creative with this setting, because already use pink bath.
I wanted bridge, because I thought I need it for number of stories. There is no bridge in toy’s shop. I did research. Where could be found necessary bridge? Answer is easy - in the shops everything for fish tanks. It’s rare in the my shopping list, but I was surprised of diversity of items which people put in fish tanks. I never thought that broken Doric order columns are such attractive for fish.
To finish – solution is not always how we see what it should be. Solution is what solves our problem in the end. And we should be open to forms and possibilities in which it proposed to us. From only this we could make conclusion if we agree to that or not.
3 March, 2020.
Today is International Writer’s day and every writer should scribe few lines about that. I don’t know if writer should receive as gift in that day bunch of pens and papers. Better if it will be lovely notebooks with beautiful papers inside of it.
At Writer’s day writer should write, as at any other day of own life. Daily at work or every day is writer’s day.
As a writer I now have one project in huge revision. One in research plans because it will be perfect excuse to learn some skill. Next idea also looks interesting because I think I could make there sweet fotos and have some props for it.
1 March, 2020.
I archived winter's posts for previous months. Links are on the bottom of page.
Today is technically first day of spring, so why not start with blooming.
Blog December 2019 - February 2020.pdf
Blog 1 October -30 November 2019.pdf
Blog 3 June-30 September 2019.pdf
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