In progress

playwright-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

blog by Kate Aksonova.

playwright-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova




    Complications with countdown.
    Lutetian’s syndrome.
    Creative smoothie.
    Saturday’s thoughts.
    Winter's mood.
    Winter is here.
    New short story.
    Site constructing.
    Afterthoughts.
    Martial law.
    “Black Friday”.
    Nook in the wood.
    Suddenly.
    Work on draft.
    Another micro.
    Greener grass.
    Observations.
    Trying forms.
    Somehow.
    Enigmatic sunset.
    Warm.
    Два оповідання.
    Female/male protagonist.
    Short story.
    Proper image.
    Colors of autumn.
    Pinch to read.
    Drafts, drafts.
    Writer’s newsletter?
    Writer’s life.
    Returning.
    Мораторій.
    “End of literature”.
    In other direction.


      Complications with countdown.


      17 December 2018

      This morning all newsletters began with crazy countdown to Christmas and suggestions how to better spend this week. Most of my newsletters are on English, so it’s normal.

      As far as I know our Christmas is on 7th of January. By the way, we received new church, not all papers finished, so almost. And final will be near 6th of January, so probably, maybe our Christmas is still on 7th and 25th of December just another day off.

      On radio and in advertisement we have countdown for New Year, because it’s when all fun will begin. 19th of December, St Nicolas day, left only for children in waiting for presents, so here is also another countdown for parents.

      What countdown should accept other religions or people not celebrating all this? Probably it’s their headache. And most of newsletters are on pause till January. In my country proper pause will be from January. Sometimes I feel myself as stockbroker who works for different time zone and had no idea which rules to use in daily life.

      So this is reason why for me is difficult to write Christmas story for adults. Our Christmas traditions are different. And no matter how many books I read, watched Christmas movies, I still can’t get difference between turkey on Thanksgiving and turkey on Christmas. I know that will write it all wrong.

      Sure I have idea for next story, but probably it won’t be Christmas oriented. This year I choose winter as main theme. If everything will work as I want, upload it till New Year. If there will be new changes out of my control - after. I still work and write, already tired of snow, but here I can change nothing.

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      Lutetian’s syndrome.


      14 December 2018.

      Today I publish new story. Sure that in text left some grammar mistakes, but it should has same style with all my previous work which also was revised before publishing.

      Enjoy your Friday.

      Lutetians-syndrome-short-story-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      Lutetian’s syndrome.pdf



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      Creative smoothie.


      11 December 2018.

      My work at each project remind work of blender to made creative smoothie. Different parts and ingredients should look smooth and better if not in crazy color.

      My usual problem – during work on text of play I couldn’t find notes how it should end, if make it holiday friendly. When I found notes, I figured out that there are two texts. And one of them is holidays friendly and about Paris. Also I found title to other not written story.

      What we have as ingredients – three unfinished stories. How do I made smoothie? I used title of one, setting of other, write to that new romantic story and invented characters. What is not used, throw away, like everything without perspective. Also mentioned in story holiday’s season.

      Now work how it make longer – 2320 words are not bad, but I want more. Obviously for new story I will need new illustrations as little umbrella. Or umbrella is for cocktail and not for health beverage?

      I know what’s going on in Paris and even thought to refuse of this idea. But Paris is always recognizable concept and I used it in such form.

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      Saturday’s thoughts.


      8 December 2018.

      Probably it wasn’t my smartest decision, but I whole week waited if will be new law №9275, which describe about what is possible to write on-line and what is forbidden. Yes, it’s again Ukraine. New idea is about not to write about something which could make readers mood worse. I already thought where from find bunch of jokes and change my job to stand up comic. Probably it will be necessary next week, I have no idea. It’s most common explanation to everything – I have no idea, because these are not my choices.

      It makes whole thinking complicated process and add some panic in what is possible to write next. Probably is not proper to write mysteries, about thrillers I am almost sure.

      There are too many non fiction things about what I want to write. Some of them are not proper, for others there is no hope for changes. In general it’s not comfortable and made concentration on fiction more difficult. I just need to close door to reality every time when I work on fiction text.

      With such huge changes in our life it’s difficult to not notice what’s going on. Now we even have enormous change in religion with Tomos (τόμος). Just whole system of coordinate moves and you try to find out where is North and South. I will catch my breath and finish drafts, publish next text. Probably it will be little bit slowly than I planned.

      I know that should again plan and write more, hope I will move from this swamp. Now I am thinking if it’s reasonable to remade unfinished play into short story and what to do with illustrations which already prepared. And where better to place it – NY or Paris, choice based on templates which have. Or finish and publish it like play.

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      Winter's mood.


      4.12.2018

      Before cleaning blog from previous posts I decided to add winter's mood with new photos to site.


      playwright-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova


      playwright-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      These fotos I refused like not properly winter style.

      Instead I add this to top of the blog:

      playwright-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      And also changed foto on English index:

      playwright-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova


      playwright-blog-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Now on English index also is link to movie script.

      All that ended in little rearrange in "my photos" page.

      I now in the research mood, because invented how remade one more old draft, little problem - I know not much about what will be setting of the story.

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      Winter is here.


      2.12.2018

      Yesterday everywhere was such fuss about that “winter is here”, that I decided to made a pause and not jump in excitement with everyone. I was thinking what to do with my blog.

      Four years ago, in 2014, I started my blog. I couldn’t count how many changes in creative life I made during that time. This year I even add writing short stories and not only plays writing. I change all the time. One of the reasons why I remove previous texts it’s not enough place on site. Other and main that I want to remove my nervous writing.

      I try to be professional and write about one theme in the route, then Ukraine happens. I had to publish in hurry my drafts in Ukrainian, because of future changes in spelling rules. For now this idea delayed like totally out of mind project.

      Next I deleted all my text in russian, because of moratorium to using this language.

      Next, this week, we have martial law, with not clear, because of mistakes, to which parts of country.

      Honestly – I am sick and tired to explain all my steps like reasonable and prove that I am not totally out of my mind.

      Many times I tried not to write about what is going on around me and every time failed. Each time it made smooth narrative of blog full mess. I changed genres and what about to write, result always was the same. After new direction, I explained that.

      So, from that is clear that I couldn’t close blog as rubric with some explanation. I don’t know, they could make decision and stop using English. We could use rules of Austro-Hungarian Empire (the Dual Monarchy), in such case I will chose Deutsch (I believe in power of Duden, and Hungarian is hell difficult language – tried to learn it). In few last month country not in friendly relationships with Poland, so there aren’t hope for easy change to Polish. And about this I also will need to announce somewhere. Probably will be chance for French, because I already try to move it learning to next level and use workouts videos on it, for now my favorite words are “un, zéro, pause”.

      As idea I have possibility to make one more blog. Second as “calm” or “professional” about theme with which I spend lot of time researching and using in my creativity. And first blog left “emotional”, where I could add what’s going on and delete this after will be proper time. About second blog, if everything will work as I want, already start this year, if not try from January.

      I have a lot of different ideas, not always have opportunity to finish them or even start. I try my best and as always my fiction texts are in priority. Now I need to choose in which chronology to write drafts and will be work on next text. I am not sure that chose “holidays” stories, probably some “snow is everywhere” kind of stories. (I have a lot of references how to draw winter wonderful landscapes.)


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      New short story.


      30.11.2018

      It happened such way that I needed almost a year from draft of this short story to publish it. I don’t think it’s crucial for text. I made this year’s revision, added few details and pictures.

      This story is already winter themed and after publication I could spent time at next project.

      Postcards-for-New-Year-short-story-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      Postcards for New Year.pdf


      As always, stay tuned.

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      Site constructing.


      28.11.2018

      I still work on revision of next short story. Already made four images to it.

      Also I added new image for page with short stories. It's not self portrait, just creative image.

      short-stories-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      After made that I also remade index, made page for all plays and remade English main page. Something like busy day without politics.

      I thought it only I tired already of winter, believed that it was after revision, but everyone around talks how they already tired of this winter. Maybe something in the air or in the country.

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      Afterthoughts.


      27.11.2018

      Yesterday was hell of a day. Whole day I was listening radio, read news and watch on-line broadcastings. Our region is not under martial law, for now, it was close.

      Whole situation is mind-blowing and really serious. Again today read and watch and analyze everything, not all is clear, but we will live in it.

      It’s dark period in our life, because possibility for solving conflict is really weak. Possibility of lose all constitutional’s freedoms was about what was a lot of talks. Censorships is not even scariest of everything.

      It was fateful decision and all thoughts which were connected with that will change perception of life, I am sure, even if it won’t be noticed simultaneously. The same with scale of priorities. Yesterday was lot of emotions everywhere and after water will calm down you start to see who where was and who wasn’t near, this time it was crucial.

      I am glad that decided to change writing to romantic stories, it’s more easy to make characters happy than bring troubles for them. When was in doubt right to make creative work, freedom to speech and immunity of housing you feel like whole life in moment could go to hell. I don’t want to write fiction about it, I want to imagine better life.

      8.35

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      Martial law.


      26.11.2018

      Верховна Рада схвалила указ президента України "Про введення воєнного стану в Україні".

      Воєнний стан в Україні водиться з 28 листопада. Він буде діяти в областях, що межують з Росією і невизнаним Придністров'ям.

      21.40

      There is announcement of possibility martial law in Ukraine. I won’t explain what it is, there are lot of articles about that.

      I don’t guarantee work of my site, future projects or anything. Everything is out of my control with addition to possible censorship.

      If will be possible, I will publish finished texts and will write only about literature. For now in work I have short story from previous year, which I huge remade.

      Like I said before – stay tuned.

      6.45

      P.S.: As news I mean NY Times, from BBC today I unsubscribed, they can't see whole picture.
      8.15

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      “Black Friday”.


      November 23, 2018.

      After cleaning from endless mails my e-box I honestly believe that main day in the year is Black Friday, because of fuss about it. Sale and opportunities are from everywhere.

      So preparation to winter’s holidays began. We have this year holiday at Christmas at 25 of December and at our Christmas 7 of January. So is it now proper to start counting from 1st of December or something like that? It’s one of my minor problems when write in different language – I haven’t feeling when is proper time.

      I have few “winter” projects and try to make them less holidays oriented to have more time to finish them. I have huge bunch of not solved problems and they could change my writing plans, so I don’t make announces. It doesn’t interesting part for anyone, especially readers. When next stage of next project will be finished, I’ll tell.

      Stay tuned.

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      Nook in the wood.


      November 20, 2018.

      Let's pretend that still wasn't first snow and return to autumn in romantic short story.


      -nook-in-the-wood-short-story-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      Nook in the wood.pdf


      P.S.: Sun is shining and snow starts to melt, so it's almost autumn story. I made decision when publish this story few days ago and stupid snow not in proper day can't change my plans. Now I could work at winter drafts and make snowflakes.

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      Suddenly.


      November 19, 2018.

      Suddenly and like always from nowhere we have first snow.

      Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      It's clear beginning of winter. So, after I finish revision of short story it will be proper time to return to drafts where snow is part of plot.

      Kate-AKS-Aksonova


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      Work on draft.


      November 16, 2018.

      Now I am working on draft of short romantic story. For now it’s 5700 words, with every revision add few words or sentences. It’s my attempt to write not play, so every time I try to add something that it will be not just dialogues lines between characters in empty space. Express everything that I want, it's priority in my work. Even if for that I need spend more time on learning English. If I care, I do, no matter how it's complicated.

      Of course it’s not novel, but for me making short story is also first step to widen my comfort zone in writing play after play. Switching from mysteries to romance also not easy, but lovely in the end. I change genre and I managed to make this story stand alone, no matter that is possible to make to be continued. Each story independent and that’s what I searched instead of scary for me rule - series in mystery light stories.

      I have there few moments to smile, for me it is marker by which I know that wrote what I want. Have some ideas for picture to story, but won’t make detailed storyboard as for play. Maybe only poster, maybe not.

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      Another micro.


      November 13, 2018.

      Road to new genre and form is not easy one. Difficult to change habits, if every draft is based on mystery plot. Try new is also write other stories.

      Micro as always helps in shift.

      micro-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      Quarrel.pdf



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      Greener grass.


      November 9, 2018.

      Today read an article about reasons for writers to change genres. In short it was suggested like bad idea. And as wish to changes was “greener grass” on the other field. Probably it’s somehow true, but mainly it’s knowledge that other field exists and there is also some grass.

      You know, most of all in starting a serie stops me that I will need to do it endlessly. One character, book after book, in mysteries corpse after corpse. In romance novels there is Regency Romance or love stories took place in Paris, but characters changes or it’s difficult to have in every story love of whole life till next book. One character is mask which you choose for some period of time and no matter how I like character I feel suffocated and need to have chance to do something else. It’s like whole year role of Santa Claus – horrible idea. If you write good and readers like it, they want you to do it over and over – scary, because I have little village of characters who also wants to tell their stories.

      I have endless amount of ideas, produce them from everything, I am storyteller, that’s what I do. Previous few days I deleted few drafts because they are too simple, not what I could do. Frequently think that do not enough and search for tools, gain knowledges, themes which will be proper for my ideas. Like all indie or stand-alone writer I haven’t agent or publishing house which makes decisions instead of me. There isn’t person whom to blame in not success in professional life. Whole responsibility is that you should be completely sure in what you are doing. It’s your personal headache on every level of project. And this responsibility is huge, someday painful, freedom has own price.

      Not once already I read articles where screenwriters told about experience remaking scripts to novels. Probably I have the same reasons to shift from plays to other stories. It’s just attractiveness of feeling that you could make finished product.

      Now we live in different world where everything is possible and you more than responsible for your story. Screenwriters became directors and it looks like good choice, not always good results, but not about that. It’s became not “how good story you could write”, but “how far could you went for your story”. And I made storyboard for script, plays to show that I care, that could do everything, so far as it take even to directing. As actors using dolls, but some writers also made audio of their texts. I don’t believe in my pronunciation proficiency to do it myself, again return to actors and how far you involved in your text. I understand switching from actors to directors, the same how far you went to tell story. But writers stop to be just writers.

      Be a writer what an image. During my life visited different writer’s museums, I saw how writer lived, where worked. It’s table, some papers around and your imagination. Favorite arm-chair where new texts later listen public. And all this became part of texts, which is perfectly shown in Булгаков’s museum in Kiev, real house and unreal house at the same time. It all existed simultaneously, it was complicated world, tangled but it was writer’s world.

      Writer should write text in any genre and on this point everything should end. Not now, writer became a sale person. Before readers search for next book, not writer for next reader. Writers now became designers and illustrators to their texts. It’s simpler than to explain what is on your mind, but mainly is problem with collaborations, it’s still competition, not partnership. Every artist has own book or comics or something else to tell personally.

      Writers go mad of all things that must do and that’s how whole literature suffers. Searching for genres which will be interesting, fear to change them and as conclusions more and more advices how to get rid of writer’s block. We forgot why we came in writing, if popular are advices – how to write a novel in 15 minutes a day. Writing is job, not a hobby. I came from journalist’s background and believe that writing is full time profession.

      In perfect conditions, doing what I want, I would probably still write stories, because it’s how I live whole my life – write. I would like to have umbrella strong enough above my head which protects me from rain of suggestions and responsibilities which I should do myself. Just write and tell next story, not afraid that should check every step with possible opinion from readers.

      Don’t get me wrong I enjoy what I do till now for every text, it’s fun, it’s creative. I love it, I learn new all the time, never bored. But everything what I do now, it’s for some kind of project. In bookmark I have images which I like to paint and what I need as references for illustrations. References always are in priority, and in that level of building “writer’s platform”, I deny everything which is not practical and it’s awful in the end of the day.

      It’s not because “grass is greener”, it’s because you just feel that’s grass and for a moment have escape. There are no easy roads, but in changing work we try to find new strength, new ideas, that we have chance to do what we want for own stupid pleasure. All this pressure ends in attempts to try different projects, than I change my mind - what if it’s not proper way. And you should to show something finished all the time to prove that you are still on track, like in crazy competition.

      Probably it all started from Michelangelo, who destroyed his sketches to show that all work was done almost without efforts. The same did writers, to public was shown twenty-fifth’s draft and was denied whole hard work with each sentence. There are writers who wrote 54 novels in four genres during five years and you write for few hours blog post.

      Also in days like today, День української писемності та мови, I remind myself that can’t write just text. My texts should be worth reading, because for bad texts are enough product from native English writers. And when in revision I see that’s text is weak, I refuse it, because I need to deserve chance to be read, story which I will tell should be worth it. Daily spend few hours not writing, but learning English, because it’s not enough words, knowledges for what I want to tell.

      Sorry for long post, but I try to explain how I choose my projects, how important they are for me and that if I had chance, I will delegate some roles which all perform myself now. About next project, I still try to figure out, which weapon to choose for which job. Part of the process is that I am also publisher who judge every draft and I am not easy person to convince in something.

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      Observations.


      7.11.2018

      Today won’t be new text, I clean my drafts to what could be remade in new genre. Not all ideas I remember what planned to do with, even if wrote some outlines.

      Still suffer with French and deny drafts with other languages addition. It doesn’t matter that Spanish pronunciation is more clear for me. But I didn’t find any templates or one image which could unite for me this language. Yes, more reading about magical realism.

      I don’t know like for other’s writers but for me not finished texts sometimes are like bulbs from which could raise new story. And I am glad of their potential. Sometimes not finished drafts remind me of not jointed furniture, which is recognizable for it purpose, but you can’t remember why you didn’t finish it, what distracted you.

      This distinction of finished and unfinished text is like in buildings which were built and rest which are still only in plans. Reality is to built object you need more time, than to create it. And not everyday you have a mood to put brick one after another. The other day you want to change bricks to glass and see what it will be in the end. Creative work is endless playing with “what if”.

      Yesterday went window shopping in art/craft supply shops, everywhere are already Christmas décor. We still have November, don’t we? In souvenirs shops everything is ready for New Year. Isn’t it too early? Everywhere are fallen leaves and days warm enough, why not take some time and appreciate what is around now.

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      Trying forms.


      3.11.2018

      In attempt to change my story to new form, already rewrote few scenes. Still search how to do it better. But all that thinking about writing bring some kind of pressure to me, unbearable pressure. Could it be such form of mood as too much motivation? Probably could, because I unsubscribed from many writing newsletters with all their suggestions what I need to do with my text.

      Also I’m thinking to limit my writing time, became really scared about articles of write – 10000 words a day, 5000 in a hour. People, I am not typing with such a speed or don’t eat necessary fruits for such inspiration.

      Of course texts and drafts which I refuse to new project is also pressure and I tried to think about how I could manage all this. Probably I don’t need one endless series, probably I need one genre as cure for my unfinished texts.

      Now I am trying to return to genre, where already had few texts – magical realism. And today’s micro also about that.


      micro-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      Little talks.pdf



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      Somehow.


      1.11.2018

      If you remember my spooky joke that I want to write “to be continued” to my plays, knowing me you predict that I in reality thought about that. For few of them I even have drafts with future stories.

      Of course everyone have only one aim in November – write a novel, I began with checking my drafts and what to do with them. Repair in neighbor’s flat which is already more than year long and adding there building parkings places for cars near house make perfect sound to decision making, but somehow I still write something.

      Wrote few times before that my short stories looks like plays without adding names for each line. Reason for this is only one – my endless fear of reality which I inherited after writing plays. You just used to this borders, that you live comfortable in them. You don’t care on the right or on the left will turn character when went from home, you know that it still will be theater.

      In prose I will be in the unknown place, not understanding language or rules of daily life, yes it’s totally me in English speaking literature. When I write on English I divide myself from reality and I won’t refuse this escape, so any reasons to stop me from that. I was thinking to invent not existing place as town or village, as in many mysteries. Add one more bloody and dangerous village to UK or like invent new state for US? And what to do when I want to have some scenes in Paris? Paris is impossible to reinvent.

      And yes, not every story I could put on the stage, car chasing or helicopters will be not on place, or will be not such capturing attention tool. Micro texts helps to lower creative tension, but it works not always. It’s obvious that I need to try new ways in writing on English. I need new playground for improving my narrative skills and English vocabulary usage. No matter my wishes, I am doubt that best idea for now is script writing.

      With all my problems with stupid mistakes on details I could make and wish not to look absolutely dumb I have few or in reality one choice if want to try myself in the prose. Yes, create own world and here there is one genre with two forms – fantasy and science fiction. Fantasy without spells or some other magic, as solution I have clairvoyance or telepathy, which makes story not normal and not enough paranormal. For science-fiction I could also gather some drafts, but here I have some lack in technical knowledges.

      I wasn’t sure if publish this thoughts on-line, but when I am writing, I am thinking and find solutions. When I can’t find solution I could be difficult person to communicate with, because I could not politely search advices with solutions from others. When I switch to research mode I am much pleasant person, really.

      I can’t write about reality, because all my writing are not proper reality and I could write only about fantasy world. As target and next victim – I am thinking about novels which wrote from 2009 and since than tried to make something with it. Even had few attempts with drafts in English. I mentioned this story many times before. Because of working title of the whole series, I will need at least basic knowledges in chess to add to story proper metaphors. Not to mention that was my main reason for French language study and self harm never was explanation. It will takes some quiet time to finish.

      For now on site already are many theater plays to make some experiments in my writing life. I need and I want to make new steps, even if they aren’t on time and I haven’t all tools to make it. I will search for every writer’s opportunity to forget somehow about daily reality.

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      31.10.2018

      Halloween!

      wizard's-pet-by-Kateryna-Aksonova


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      Enigmatic sunset.


      30.10.2018

      Nature is best painter, which works are really enigmatic, like today's sunset.

      Kate-AKS-Aksonova


      Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      There are such beauty, not spooky at all.

      As spookiest idea for today could suggest idea to write "to be continued" to my previous plays. Scary? And if in prose? Hope spooky enough.

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      Warm.


      26.10.2018

      New micro:

      micro-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      Warm.pdf


      P.S.:

      It should be clear what inspired me to this micro. Probably better if I post it at December, but till that time I could lost it among other drafts. Of course, it’s result which receive most amount of people who will start write a novel during November. They are such excited about idea, that forget of existence of such person, job of who is to read all that “potential great novels.”

      I don’t think it’s such scary job, like believe writers. Yes, it was my choice as profession, before journalistic. I believed that is interesting to have opportunity to read books, which wasn’t published yet.

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      Два оповідання.


      24.10.2018

      Про погоду за вікном:

      То дощ, то сніг, то знову дощ…
      Одна нога узута в сніг,
      Друга у дощ узута…

      Микола Вінграновський

      Два оповідання, які давно вже треба було опублікувати:

      Вдивляючись у сніг.pdf

      Недописані листи.pdf


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      Female/male protagonist.


      20.10.2018

      As a writer you create different characters, no matter of gender. Two days ago I wrote short story with male protagonist – private investigator in general. Also I invented play, but think it could be better as winter time to have reasons blocked characters into one place.

      New character has potential for serial of short stories. I even invented how connect him with not previously finished play to make it more complicated.

      But I found some tiny problem in male protagonist, to be correct in my writing about male. Story has plot and solving, but it hasn’t jokes. Probably one sentence which could bring tiny, unnoticed smile, no more. It doesn’t make story bad, but my female characters have endless power of jokes.

      Probably that’s in general, when I write about female I write about me, inventing most stupid situation changes as possible. It’s different from romance writing or even from romantic suspense. There main hero should be endlessly handsome as rule, no matter what he wears black T-shirt or black tie. He answers and behaves as woman think it should be, not like in real life. In real life when nod is enough to show his deep feelings and level of affectation, few words is cosmic level of delight, no matter that in reality you didn’t change haircut.

      When I write male character I gave them more reasons in behavior, bigger understanding of whole picture. And as result he isn’t joking, almost at all, like doesn’t see something funny. I know that if I rewrite the same story with female character it not necessary be hilarious, but it will have few smiles during reading. Probably that’s reason why cozy writers write novel after novel, women write about themselves in imagined circumstances. It’s like fiction blogging, page after page.

      Of course I wanted to write something serious, deep, but I choose writing like antidote. If I will write about dramas and struggles it’s became some masochistic act in our reality. Pain is always enough and you just want to switch to something else, not thinking about problems every moment.

      In male protagonist I add more drama and I am thinking how to change it. I will make few attempts, if nothing work, I will return to female characters as hidden writing power.

      P.S.: Or for male protagonist I could try to accomplish coolness of noir or hard boiled mystery. Probably with total black illustration to make all more dramatic. If I will choose this road I will need to change art material. New, cheapest marker, which I bought as “without smell” during work has terrible “basic notes”. Probably will think about ink. Dark humor is always an option.

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      Short story.


      17.10.2018

      Again was problems with site, I am tired of that and sorry if someone was disappointed because of not presence site on-line. Not everything is in my power.

      Today I am publishing short story for kids. Also I made few changes in site's structure, dividing plays and short stories for kids.

      wizard's-pet-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Little wizard's pet.pdf

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      Proper image.


      15.10.2018

      Today we have holiday and I have creative crisis.

      I work on next story, in outline it was something spooky enough and I wanted at first to sketch few images. Proper images to story, using templates which I have. Little problem is images which I received are too cute. And they are more than proper to kid’s story, which I didn’t plan to write.

      I should choose what to do – save pictures and write little story for kids or think how this images make more adult. I don’t tell that I wanted to write something like steamy romance, but not for playground definitely.

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      Colors of autumn.


      12.10.2018

      Today is amazing - warm and sunny autumn day.

      I made photos of such beauty, it's near our airport.

      by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova


      by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      And mom made few photos of me.

      by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      On this are lovely yellow and green colours:

      by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova


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      Daily troubles.


      10.10.2018

      Again few hours wasn’t site on-line, something was with cable in provider’s office which was somehow crucial that everything, including e-mail, worked. Now we have returning on-line and I check even without damage to content.

      I will not mention other daily troubles, again not in my power.

      I want add some humor in my day. Don’t everyone tired about fever of talks about next possible James Bond? GQ suggested to kill that character and such way make new movie special. Idea worth attention, but my play “Retired spies” in first draft was named “James Bond on retirement”. Why not think in this direction? With such past, character could has enough kids who could be new and James Bond as father. And here we could mention how wrong are all suggestions of actors for now. With such pauses between movies should be other age limit. As first suggestion is Thomas Stanley Holland, till next film he will be proper age. I am talking about creativity and not standard solutions.

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      Pinch to read.


      8.10.2018

      From drafts after revision I receive text ready to publish. Today it’s new micro, pinch of text to read.

      micro-by-Kate-AKS-Aksonova

      All his special women.pdf


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      Drafts, drafts.


      6.10.2018

      My little disaster in writing and drowning in drafts, that everything what I write looks more like play or not enough action packed script. Probably I am little bit afraid to name it such kind of prose and accept is as my personal writing style. In such moments is normal to have urge talk about this with somebody, but in reality you could unintentionally talk about struggles in your writing with person who is also secretly writer and as result you could receive interesting conversation with quiet wall.

      Writing is not election, and you can’t ask electorate which project is more suitable for next few months or weeks of work. I promised not to write about politic, it was just reference as explanation of my creative process.

      This year suddenly I learned that exists not only Nanowrimo, November when everyone write novel, but also Pre Nanowrimo which took place in October and helps writer in such difficult activity. Writing a book becomes main aim and accomplishing it gives you different status. With it I have season struggles every year, when fever of novel writing itches everyone.

      It’s like with stories for kids, you could invent a lot, but how to make enough lovely animals which won’t fade near Disney’s cartoons, every teddy bear will have some deep mark of Winnie, no matter how hard you will try. I didn’t decide for now if return to this genre, too much work with illustrations and lot of attention in writing for not use wrong age vocabulary.

      Time to time I have idea stop to think and judge my work and publish them in their form, bothering only about revision, and not finding genre which unite at least a bit of them. It worked somehow with plays, why it should be different with other texts.

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      Writer’s newsletter?


      1.10.2018

      Began October and day is sunny, but not as warm as hoped.

      Like I said, I revise a little posts in blog from September and left them at the same page.

      Today I stumbled on the article about writer’s newsletter and importance of it. To be honest I don’t think that I am ready for this form of communication. I prefer blog, where reader could read or not what was written before.

      Definitely newsletters are important marketing tool in sales or announces. I haven’t strict deadline and my texts is possible to read for free, so I can’t write “only five last day and proposition will end” or something like that.

      It also should help to connect with readers… In plays, mainly, there isn’t to be continued. And love or hate to character mainly depends of spectators understanding of actor’s performance, no matter what at first put there playwright. Playwright make some story which is alive, but need more people to make it real. Mostly playwright doesn’t connect with reader, because of not usual pleasures of reading such kind of texts.

      In general all this idea of presence on-line for every kinds for writers is a little bit more than could be bearable. When I start write, I knew that I need to go to newspaper, left draft and then everyone else bother what to do with text. I only could or couldn’t see it printed.

      Now we all are entrepreneurs and entertainers at once. We not only need to create from our imagination story and make it readable… Now we are responsible for revision, publishing and promotion. No matter you are self-publish or signed contract. It’s your writing – you should convince people that’s worth reading.

      I think in December 2014, I started to write blog as explanation that texts are not popping from nowhere and I do my part of work writing them. Was written thousands pages of how I write, much less than I actually wrote fiction. I think such kind of problem met most of writers. It’s possible that we waste our creativity to write perfect post instead of write perfect scene or chapter.

      This switching not always works as best for writer. Probably all people are different and rules don’t work for everyone. There are people that could post day on different platforms on-line and still write twenty pages of marvelous fiction. Why not? At the same time there are people who can’t stand noise of daily social media changes. At first I used Instagram as place to find inspiration for painting, later I switched to Pinterest and that’s what I need. I don’t care if it was published few minutes or few years ago, I liked that image, colors and they inspire me – I don’t need other information or comments.

      I tried to write daily and weekly, but in the end blog is second in priority list. Main is fiction what we create. Did you notice how amazing are articles of aspiring writers? Lot of wit, many examples, you read them like a poem and in “about” you read that writer still works on first book.

      If everyone tell that writer should write about writing, it should be true, but what if doesn’t work for everyone. What if thinking and being present on-line we destroy our fiction writing, instead of mastering it? What if writer should only show what is written and don’t explain step by step how it work? What if all this additional work doesn’t change anything and every writer will be judged only by his/her fiction which was read? If all this is true, what will choose reader – finished fiction or interesting story about daily work? I am writer, I haven’t answers.

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      Writer’s life.


      28.09.2018

      With blogs we used to believe that’s our journal with some therapeutic effect where we could describe real life of writers. I think such tendency is wrong and harmful. Harmful for tender soul of our readers. We shouldn’t convince our readers that we live the same life as they. No, we are writers and live differently.

      I will try to experiment and write how should look writer’s life for reader, I will write about woman writer. Let’s start:

      “Birds singing under window makes eyes of writer open and she has smile on her face. Fine, it could looks like scene from Disney’s Cinderella, but it’s not plagiarism, it’s quote of classic. With smile she opens her eyes, drops of the dew wash her face.

      On the other hand we could have different scenery: Sound of the waves accompany writer’s walk to the sea/ocean/place containing lot of water. Fresh breeze is touches her face, water is calm and warm and she swim.

      The same hard working birds will bring to her hand some berries which she compound with dew from petals of flowers.

      Time to work. Writer’s smile, it’s necessary – even if looks too much, open notebook with special toned paper, takes fountain pen. Note: bucolic picture with computer doesn’t work. Writer takes fountain pen and start to write freely, without grammatical errors, page after page.

      Her partner quietly walks to her when she is working, tender kiss her in top of head, not intentionally glimpses in notebook, few tears of admirations of texts trace on his cheeks. He walks away for not disturb creative mood of his special woman.

      Sun is warm, but not hot. Writer writers, when to her come her dog Fluffy. Fluffy licks her hand and takes a glimpse at the notebook, few tears of admiration trace his cheeks.

      At the evening, birds, which already done hell of the work today, bring dessert to the tea. Writer reads her notes from today aloud. Man and dog are crying in adoration not stopping themselves.

      After sunset, covering herself of petal of rose writer went to sleep.”

      This is how it should be, this is proper, everything else is banal or rude. Readers are main people in our life, we should protect them in all costs.

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      Returning.


      25.09.2018

      Technically this year I published only two theater plays for now. Does it make me less playwright? I don’t think so, but it’s not my usual speed in 12 to 24 new texts per year. To be honest, it’s not scary me now as scared before. I published big texts and I am proud of them.

      Probably quantity this time can’t be my priority. It’s like turning from sketches in pencil to oil painting, it’s different and has other rules.

      A lot happened, which slowed down or changed directions of my work this year. I mainly tried to managed what could be managed or saved. And of course refused of lot of things. Even when returned e-mail I unsubscribed from few newsletters as unnecessary. Like I read in one article written by plein air artist “Things wasn’t happening TO me, it was happening FOR me”. Such quotes you always read when need them the most.

      I was too deep in daily routine to produce more and more texts that couldn’t turn head and look around. Persistence with which you try to save something, no matter what: your idea or relationships became bigger than your perception that it doesn’t work how should. Your willpower is not enough to start engine in which is not enough fuel to start itself. Some ideas couldn’t be saved, they will be destroyed by reality, no matter that you spend on them hours of research.

      I was thinking about returning back to huge productivity of texts in theater plays, unfinished drafts give me confidence in this possibility. But could I return back in the same river without character change? I don’t think so. Mainly I don’t want to.

      I have such kind of ritual in time of making decisions, which I name “overload”. I try to “put on plate” as much as possible tasks, ideas, activities or languages and spend on them some time daily. Naturally some “pieces” will be forgotten or “untouched” and I receive what I really don’t want to refuse. What is amazing during this “selection” what was left change form in how I could bring it back to my daily life. I see them differently and as on new level. It’s difficult, but perfect work for me to find out what I “really, really want”. I found borders which I want to make not such noticeable or ideas which I was too afraid to articulate because of fear not knowing enough.

      There is none possibility to return where you stop, it’s not a book with open pages left on the table. But even with book, if you left it for month, you will need to skip pages to remember what all this was about. When you return you are not “false beginner” as in language, you return with new experience, even in thoughts, because you know more than knew before and this makes all incomparable. You want not new rules, but some kind of new contract, agreement which guarantee that this time won’t be previous mistakes, this time you will complete this project and make it better.

      I know it all seems foggy, but I found two huge themes of interest about which I think I could write fiction. In each I have some kind of personal experience, but I don’t want to announce something particular. Too many my projects ended in trash pile or in pile of unfinished projects after announcements.

      I don’t want promise, I want to make something and publish it as completed text. The same is with new theater play, when all will be ready, it will be on-line, with pauses between texts to complete them without hurry.

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      Мораторій.


      19.09.2018

      "Депутати Львівської обласної ради прийняли рішення про впровадження мораторію на публічне використання російськомовного культурного продукту на території області в будь-яких формах до моменту повного припинення окупації території України."

      I delete from site all texts written on Russian.

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      “End of literature”.


      9.09.2018

      It just happened that during this week I all the time read articles which predict “end of literature”. Some kind of panic which was written in different languages. I wasn’t agree with that, but was quiet till read that dramaturgy is genre of writing – literature which lost is normal gender attributes, specific male’s gender attributes. Of course it was written by man and here is noticeable importance to talk about this with psychiatrist, not to write about this to readers. But it’s not about it. It’s about that “end, death” or something else terrible with literature.

      Here we have simple substitution of two problems and in this lie there is possibility to make crazy strong statements.

      As writer, still believe that every writing is literature form, I notice what’s going on around in this business. Writing is not painting, as activity not for everyone. Writing is what everyone do without second thought. Publishing books or quantity of new books now enormous in history. When I stumble upon sites of writers who made advices to others and notice that they are twenty something years old and they already wrote more than forty books in few genres, I can’t see the end of literature. I even could assume that writing is most popular hobby which exist now and everyone struggle about what to write in next book.

      What we have is “end of reader”, but not such dramatic as it sounds. Just happened that always writers were avid readers and now every reader is a writer. Person who reads is equal to person who writes. Every reader is writer, I repeat myself. We lost reader as reader, reader is person who want to be interested in stories invented by others. Now we have writer as reader and interest in works of others exists only as study for craft.

      How and why this happened no one knows. Maybe normal reader is overwhelmed by quantity of books which is around and it scary – what to choose, what to read, why I should read this and not that. Who choose what to read if there is weekly, daily reviews with thousands of books worth to be read. All this necessity of reading ended into denying, about that crying this articles.

      As writer I shouldn’t write this, but probably reading is not for everyone. Till you are in shock I will explain myself. In school wasn’t that, but when I started to learn languages myself I read about different kinds of learning languages depending of learners preferences. You know all this – visual, audible and you get the point. We talk about reading as unsolvable problem, why no one talks about perceiving new information instead. For person who prefers to shout on TV screen during watching something, reading is not attractive activity, because usually you don’t shout to book, you stop reading it. Before reading was storyteller who told stories and other listened, because it was experience about events where they wasn’t present.

      Literature is just written form of storytelling and storytelling can’t end because people still ask “How are you?”, “What’s new?” and most of the times they are really curious to know the answer.

      I can’t be hysterical because people don’t want to read, because I write on genre which is not in common reading. For me is more important story telling, because I invent them all the time. I used to have readers with habit of reading such specific texts as plays. I can’t worry about loosing readers, they are rare guest on our field.

      Writers write at first for themselves, and other writers and that’s recent reality which they should face. Probably I was too many times on book fairs and saw how really sells literature. Ten-five books with authors signature, I am not telling about “stars”. And also common “little death” when potential reader open the book, flip pages and put it back, having any idea that in front is writer, not book seller and refusal to be interested in text damaged writer’s soul.

      This battle for readers is battle for money which they could bring to writer. It’s interesting wish – writers want that they should be paid by others for their personal dreams. Rude, I know but readers are cruel, like every human. They don’t want to “waste their time”, they don’t want to be disappointed. They were already disappointed by others writers. In school, University they didn’t feel connection with struggles and happens of characters. I always was avid reader, but many books I reread when was already adult and saw what wanted to tell author, or about what exactly was this book. Child not always see why this book is such important to him/her now, when in their life are more real feelings about their life.

      Future of literature is in some level of book clubs, where people unite to read something, because reading and learning new stories is important for them. In school we lost many readers and only few of them will return to reading later. Real reading, not understanding written text should be voluntary activity.

      We writers show our work as endless struggles, it’s really difficult, but it’s pain which we love and we do it for ourselves, because can’t express ourselves in other way. We love to exaggerate, to use strong words. But in real life we are as our readers, we focused at ourselves, mainly on what happens in our life. The more happened in real life, the more we are focused on our personal life, own struggles, the less we write. It’s even has common explanation “life’s happens”. When we are busy with our life, we don’t write, if it’s not diary form, if there is enough time for it. Let’s picture ideal writer’s retreat – some solitude and quiet place, busy city café is not for everyone, and writer with notebook writing. Why it’s such common? What else you will do if life not “happens”? Exactly, you invent stories to make daily life not so boring.

      Sorry for long text, I just can’t read one more lament how everything is awful and that literature is dead. Diversity should be in everything, even in how spend own free time. There are shops where everything is for knitting, fishing or painting and no one is in hysteric that they could lost clients, all people are different and they has will to do what they want to do. As writers we should be there, when they will want to read, because we have urge to tell our stories.

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      In other direction.


      4.09.2018

      Who remember my writer’s journey already know about my attempts to write scripts. Even one in Ukrainian is published on site.

      Now I am on the mood of cleaning my writing drafts and it also connected with my cleaning of bookmark. Most of links bring to my mind idea “why I put it in bookmark first time” and I delete it. Mainly there are articles connected with different forms of writing and advises how to make it better.

      There are advises how to write novels and make them more movie like. And definitely I have a hundred of articles how to improve script writing. One and main problem with screenplays that they are not equal to theater plays. In other words it’s not literature. It’s “technical” document like other supportive thing to movie making. I use term movie instead of film, because it’s more common. So script is lost soul which not good enough to be called proper literature genre, no matter to all existing projects.

      I already had time with refuse to write scripts because it’s not reasonable till movie making. Also there are lot of advises how to make adaptation from existing novel or short story. And I thought what if I choose walk in other direction. To write movie script in format of literature, but in present tense. It won’t be short story, but could be read as short story or novella depending of length, probably play with lot of locations and remarks.

      “Future Movie Draft”. I began with short script, which already had storyboard sketches (47 images). If you remember I mentioned that particular project in April. Now I publish my draft, this time it’s not silence movie, I added there few lines of dialogues.

      script-by-Kateryna-Aksonova

      Crash. pdf



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      Kate-Aks-Kateryna-Aksonova


      Пожертва = підтримка.

      Kateryna-Aksonova

      Пожертва.pdf



      Donation = support.

      Kateryna-Aksonova

      Donation.pdf



      Mail: aksioma@neonet.ua

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